Tuesday, November 18, 2008

What is Wrong With Some People??

A buddy of mine posted a blog about a female friend of his who's boyfriend is a loser but she stays with him. I have heard this story often enough that rather than just post this for him, I decided to make this my own blog entry, however it is more or less a letter of consolation to this friend.

LOTS of people (not just girls, some guys) for some bazaar reason are attracted to selfish, scummy, lowlife losers who abuse, manipulate and never intend to change.

I can only speculate on what causes people to be attracted to that. I guess some people are just drawn to the whole "victim" role and "soap opera" lifestyle. Some people really do crave drama even if it adds problems and anxiety to their lives. I can almost guarantee you 100% that everyone who reads this blog either has a friend or family member or knows someone who is like your friend.

And even when these drama-loving people get out of a bad relationship (which usually takes years of "are-you-freakin-kidding-me?? horror stories) they generally just find another scumbag just like the last one.

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to change these people or get them to see the error of their ways. As illogical and dumb as it sounds, people have the right to be as miserable as they want to be. They may even adamantly deny wanting to be miserable, but by their actions and choices they are clearly in the driver seat of their own "highway to hell and suffering" vehicle, and they're speeding down dangerous roads to nowhere any sane person would want to be.

The best you can do is keep an emotional distance, offer them help if they really need it, but for your own sanity- refuse to take on the role of therapist for them. They'll happily tuck you into the backseat of their god-forsaken drama filled roller coaster life and drag you along every painful bump and turn. Save yourself!!! You cannot get someone off a path of their own creation. THEY have to want and implement those changes on their own.

Unless or until that day, they'll just stress the hell outta you while they star in their own self-made tragedy and eagerly ask for reviews of their performance and the villain's audacious role, secretly thrilled in how their "larger than life", emotionally challenging "real world" life sounds when they dish out every last gruesome and shocking detail to whichever unfortunate souls have to be audience to their lives.

Try not to stress about it too much. YOUR being stressed out doesn't change your friend or her situation and it'll just make your life more challenging. You don't need that! You can only be in charge of and responsible for your own life. Stay focused on that and remember there are always bad things going on in the world to millions of people, but if you let that get you down, you'll always be unhappy.

Live your life for YOU, and let other people live their own lives the way they want. Your life is about making YOU happy, sane and satisfied first, or you'll never be in any position to help anyone else!

Trust me, I have a slightly younger female friend who would certainly have made ME go prematurely gray and become addicted to Prozac if I let her! When it gets to be too much, just politely ask to not get updates for a while, and you can go contently back to your own more mundane life with a suddenly delightful amount of gratitude!!

[MySpace Posted Friday, February 22, 2008]

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