Friday, October 30, 2009

A Disgusting Double Standard

Jack Sprat is dumb and fat,
but his wife is hot and lean.
So thanks to Hollywood TV producers
it's every man's expected dream.

To borrow and somewhat alter an old nursery rhyme ...

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Defining Success

What exactly does it mean to be "successful"?

Legislated Into Failure

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."

~~~~ Dr. Adrian Rogers, 1931

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Obama and Abortion

A perspective on this topic you've possibly never had before.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Why Older Women Like Younger Men

Younger can be better and a lot of women are agreeing.

Cougars And Their Men

It's becoming a much less surprising thing. While younger men and older women have been enjoying each others company probably ever since the dawn of sexual beginning it sometimes takes a fair bit of publicity for an idea like that to become famliar and "main stream".

A fairly recent and well known celebrity couple are actress Jennifer Aniston and singer/musician John Mayer. Aniston was born in 1969. Mayer was born in 1977. That gives them a modest 8 year difference.

Halle Barry was born

Date a Cougar

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Aiding and Abetting Evil

"Evil is like a shadow. It has no real substance of its own; it is simply a lack of light. You cannot cause a shadow to disappear by trying to fight it, stamp on it, by railing against it, or any other form of emotional or physical resistance. In order to cause a shadow to disappear, you must shine light on it." ~Shakti Gawain

"There is hardly a man clever enough to recognize the full extent of the evil he does." ~Francois De La Rochefoucauld

Last night I had the opportunity to go to a local bar/pool hall and shoot a few rounds of pool with a good friend. He’s a smart person with a good heart who has displayed both compassion and integrity. I try to have these admirable qualities and avidly seek in others. I like to think I’m doing pretty well at those.

My abilities in pool playing however are severely lacking.

Even though I understand the concepts of how to line up the balls, bounce them off the walls, aim low to make the ball stop short, etc. I almost always seem to somehow miss my mark by just a bit. I try to be a good sport about it, but I find it quietly infuriating.

It turns out this friend grew up around a bar that a family member owned and spent some quality time (hours upon hours, for years) perfecting the skills of the game. While I enjoy pool, I’ve played very little of it in my lifetime. I’m not the most practiced or proficient player but I enjoy it and accept frequent loses (unless the other player accidentally bags the eight ball) but I admit I’d like to be good at it. I hate to fail at anything.

By the second game he begin watching more closely the way I’d carefully line things up only to have something bewildering go wrong upon execution. A no-miss shot would refuse the hole it was only cementers from, going sideways instead of straight.

He identified that I was holding the end of the stick too far from my body and with a death grip instead of loosely generating momentum with it. This was causing my arm to swing slightly sideways in a nearly in-perceivable way knocking the balls millimeters in the wrong direction.

After making the necessary adjustments my game improved immediately by leaps and bounds. I went from being an embarrassment to being a contender. He was my hero for the night.

As the night was rounding out though, we took a break to get more quarters and he went off to talk with a girl who was holding a black bag. Curious about what looked like a business transaction I went over to investigate. I was horrified to see that the girl was giving away flavored chewing tobacco in exchange for his contact information to send him additional advertisements and freebies.

It may be because of the wholesome healthy minded way I was raised but it’s always crushing to discover a friend do something disastrous to their health and making choices that will hurt their hope for happiness in life.

What was most confusing about this was I knew this friend didn’t chew or smoke. What was going on?

It turns out that he was signing up for the free t-shirt they give away online. He planned to give the tobacco to friends at work.

I try very hard to not make judgment about other people. I know I am riddled with faults and character flaws and want others to treat me compassionately in spite of them. But I strongly believe that we should use our strengths to help others with their weaknesses.

Confucius taught that “The man of noble mind seeks to achieve the good in others and not their evil.”

As a peer counselor and drug educator in high school I frequently talked with teens and kids who had chemical abuse problems or grew up in families where those things were a way of life. I saw how it hurt their lives, damaged their bodies and self esteem and in some cases destroyed their families. I truly believe that science is still only beginning to get through to people just how harmful those substances are.

Just like “Friends don’t let friends drink and drive”, I believe the mark of a true friend is someone who takes the substances away from their buddies, not giving them more because “well they’re already choosing to use them”.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said that “The meaning of good and bad, of better and worse, is simply helping or hurting.” If you love someone, as friends should, you do not contribute to their making themselves sick and unhappy.

I was sad and even angry that this person I admired was supporting an incredibly toxic company that perpetuates death, disfigurement and disease, all for the sake of a free t-shirt.

My god, if he wanted a free shirt that badly, I’d buy him one!

The quote "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing," by Edmund Burk has been made quite popular through online social networks like MySpace.

I think there is a lot of wisdom in that. History is abundant with horrific atrocities that have happened because one person chose evil and too many people around them stood by and passively allowed it.

I was taught and still believe that you should take a stand for truth and right even if it means you stand alone. I could not ignore the painful sadness I felt believing my friend was compromising his integrity for temporary popularity with a few work buddies and a free t-shirt.

It might make me a nark, a rat, a tattle-tale or any number of other things, but I would rather have someone I care about be angry at me or even get in trouble with the law if it puts a step between them and an action that will hurt them or someone else. I would rather be seen as the unpopular goody-goody and keep my integrity intact rather then aiding and abetting evil.

“What is evil? Whatever springs from weakness.” Frederich Nietzsche

I wanted to plead my case to this friend that wearing a shirt advocating something you yourself don’t do because you know it’s dangerous is hypocritical. That doing business with these companies pushing designer death hurts not only those old enough to accept the consequences of their decisions, but also the unborn, young, elderly, disabled and the helpless to tell their care providers that the choices they are “free” to make are killing them too. That giving dangerous and addictive chemicals to people you care about is a betrayal of that friendship.

We live in not just a country but a world that thrives on people copying what those perceive as attractive and successful do. How many people wanting to emulate him: children, teens, other guys and young women who never spoke with him to discover he doesn’t smoke or chew, might decide it’s a cool and sexy thing to do, and struggle to beat the addiction for the rest of their lives in part because they saw this attractive and charming guy wearing a t-shirt advertising tobacco?

Cicero got it right: “They do more harm by their evil example than by their actual sin.”

I said a bit on this to him, but knowing that being preachy often makes a person just feel more rebellious, I allowed my actions to relate my frustration with his decision.

It was evident in the way I played the next few turns, slopping balls around and hardly paying attention to what I was aiming at, if I was aiming at all; ignoring all of his useful and correct advice. I know everyone has free will. But I also believe that we should influence those around us to make good decisions. I certainly would want those who care about me to try to interfere if I start doing something or continued doing something that is at the most basic level: stupid and bad. Or worse: dangerous and hurtful.

Last night I had the opportunity to go to a local bar/pool hall and shoot a few rounds of pool with a good friend. He’s a smart person with a good heart who has displayed both compassion and integrity.

He didn’t let me down. More importantly, with a little reminder that everyone needs sometimes, he did the right thing. I watched while without a word he threw the tobacco away.

“Our character is but the stamp on our souls of the free choices of good and evil we have made through life.” John Cunningham Geikie

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Chivalry vs. Etiquette

Chivalry is alive and well.

It's etiquette that's dying off.

While chivalry is more than just opening doors, etiquette is more than just knowing which silverware to use.

:a code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group. The French word, signifying ticket (of admission, etc.) first appeared in English in 1750

Chivalry :a term related to the medieval institution of knighthood. It is usually associated with ideals of knightly virtues, honor and courtly love. The word is derived from the French word chevalier, indicating one who rides a horse (Fr. cheval). Today, the terms chivalry and chivalrous are used to describe courteous behavior, especially that of men towards women.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Men, Women & Wedding Rings

About a week ago one of the radio stations I sometimes listen to had one of the women on the show ask questions to three guys who were in the studio.

It had already started when I tuned in and so I missed the first part that explained who they were and why they were being asked these questions.

It's probably safe to say though that since they were all straight adult males who have been in relationships before (I think one had been married and divorced) they could represent "the average" guy.

The woman just about drove me nuts with her questions to the guys. She asked them questions like:

"When you were younger, what did you dream your wedding would be like?"

"How important is it for you to have a big wedding or to have it at a certain location.."

"What about rings? Do you think just bigger is better?"

"How should your woman let you know what kind of ring she wants? Should she tell her sisters and girlfriends and have them tell you?"

It was ridiculous! I was choking on my laughter over just how naive this woman was and just how little she understands about how guys think.

I also really felt sorry for the guys, having to answer her crazy chick questions on live radio.

Obviously these three single men don't want to come across as jerks, stingy or insensitive, for all the world to hear. But the fact of the matter is these guys clearly didn't know how to even wrap their heads around the absurdities of these questions!

I'M a female and even I NEVER pictured in my mind my "Dream Wedding" as a child, or teen or even an adult! To think that little boys or guys would? It's ridiculous!

First of all, the vast majority of guys don't really see getting married as an achievement or a goal until they're nearly middle aged. Even then some avoid it like the plague!

Freedom, tools, fast cars, tough trucks, bikes or jets, weapons, adrenaline and getting drunk or laid or both... now THOSE are what guys "dream" about!

Guys don't "fantasize" about getting hitched to one woman who will likely nag him to death, drive him insane with her demands and inevitable onslaught of pushy, critical family and judgmental friends!

I give the guys kudos for managing to give answers that were both ambiguous yet honest enough to satisfy her.

While no guy wants to be known as the man who's wife has the smallest and cheapest ring, most guys really just want to make their woman happy and put something on her finger that shows she's taken without having to remortgage the house. They are all probably hoping that their woman is easy to please, choosing something tasteful and not too expensive and then loving it- but more importantly loving THEM.

Guys like simple. I will never understand why women have to over complicate things. Even romantic guys don't want to have to go through their woman's entourage of estrogen support to discover something that really should be just between the two of them.

Either she should tell him what she wants or they should make the selections together. If she wants to be "surprised" she should give him no more than two choices in different price ranges that she would honestly be happy with. And then she should be happy to have the man- not focus on a piece of metal and slice of minerals.

One of the guys accurately assessed that the choice of everything from the ring to the dress and even honeymooning destination is something that all their woman's female friends and family will either praise or criticize.

For the life of me I cannot see why their opinions should even factor into the equation. The wedding is for the bride. The focus should be on her and the decisions made by her. The wedding night is for the groom. The families and friends should not infringe on the bride and groom's choices and preferences.

Personally, I think there is entirely too much emphasis on the wedding. The amount of time and effort that typically goes into a "private" wedding should be reserved for parades, festivals and national events. It's a marriage. Not a circus.

So much focus is put on who will attend, what the attendees will wear, registering at stores, what kind of paper the invitations are printed on and on and on... I think the love and joy of the couple is completely lost. With the attention on jealous bridesmaids, in-law conflicts and whether the correct flowers will be in season or if the day will bring sun or a natural disaster does anyone even remember that the point of a marriage is to lawfully join a couple in their journey through life?

The expensive and stressful day becomes one of anxiety and frustration. Too much value is placed on details and will not in any way, shape or form contribute to the happiness or longevity of their union. And isn't that really what matters? Women get so caught up in this over-the-top girlish fantasy "event" that the groom really becomes just one more detail to "organize". It's insanity.

To the question about a "dream" wedding, the guys admitted they never really thought about it when they were younger. I think they were surprised that the radio host thought they should have.

Amazingly enough, after her crazy questions that left the poor guys sweating bullets and scrambling to agree on answers that they've never spent a millisecond thinking about individually or collectively, this insanely naive female radio host wrapped up the segment by making a most baffling statement that made me wonder if she heard *anything* the guys had said.

"Well, I guess men and women really aren't that different after all."


Guys. On behalf of women everywhere...I'm sorry female are so completely confusing.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Warriors and Princesses

Ever notice how little boys almost always pretend to be warriors of some kind and girls usually pretend to be princesses?

But has it ever occurred to you that they never "outgrow" those fantasies?

Men still like to think of themselves as warriors. And women still tend to think of themselves as royalty. Some things just don't change with time.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Men Hate Cute

Puppies are cute.

Kittens and babies are cute.

MEN (straight ones anyway) don't want to BE cute, and they don't want their women to dress "cute".

Cute is what their daughters are. What their friend's daughters are. What their nieces and nephews are.

NO normal, straight guy wants to EVER confuse any of those things with the woman they're are fantasizing about or doing the funky nasty with.

Women need to figure this out and stop trying to catch guys (or please them) by wearing what their girlfriends love because it's "OMG! So cute!".