Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Spending Your Time: You're Doing It Wrong!

There will always be people willing to kill time with you. But are you wasting your life?

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

You Might Be a Freak

In the flavor of “You might be a redneck”… let’s see if you’re secretly (or openly) a freak.

You might be a freak…

* If you have one or more red light bulbs in your bedroom/ bathroom/ boudoir.

* If you have enough sex related products (lubes, toys, etc.) that they have their own special container or drawer.

* If you have ever had any part of another person’s body or inanimate object in your ass.

* If you have ever stuck any part of your body or inanimate object in anyone else’s ass.

* If you have handcuffs, bondage tape, blindfolds or any other tools for restricting movement.

* If you’re into paddles, crops, canes, straps, flogging or punishment play.

* If you have any underclothing made out of leather.

*If you've ever shaved your pubic hair into shapes or designs.

* If you've had your pubic hair waxed or hair laser removed.

* If you've ever used tweezers to remove your pubic hair.

* If you've used Popsicle or ice cubes on your or anyone elses privates.

* If you've ever heated something up or put it in the freezer to use it for sexual play.

* If you’ve used any toy product with the word “gripper, crusher or lifter".

* If you're not a virgin and wore a chastity belt.

* If you ever punished yourself for having sexual thoughts or doing sexual deeds.

* If you have ever tasted your own "fluids".

* If you have clothing or costumes bought or worn specifically for sexual fun.

* If you have ever bought anything that specifically says “edible” on the packaging.

* If your "partner" was a single synthetic body part or required blowing up first.

* If you've used fruits or vegetables during sex and didn't eat them.

* If you’re into licking dessert “toppings” off someone’s body or having them lick them off yours.

* If you have ever used a “safe word”.

* If you get yourself off on a regular basis and have a special word you use to describe the activity.

* If you think Victoria Secret’s selections are “tame” and only for sleeping in.

* If you think Frederick’s of Hollywood’s selections are for daytime wear.

* If you have a frequent buyers card at an “adult book” or “novelty” store.

* If you’ve ever bought enough from an online porn store that you got free shipping or a free toy.

* If you have ever had sex outside, in a car, on a plane, on a motorcycle or in a dressing room.

* If you have ever gotten a hotel room to just use for a few hours that didn’t involve sleep.

* If you have ever borrowed a sexy car or motorcycle but didn’t end up driving it.

* If you have personal experience with “road head”.

* If you have personal experience with “tea bagging”.

* If you have had personal experience with a “Ménage a Trois”

* If you have had more than one kind of “Menage a Trois”.

* If you have ever worn anything that vibrates.

* If you buy rechargeable batteries for your vibrating accessories.

* If you have ever used kitchen utensils, writing utensils, children’s toys or work tools during sex or masturbation.

* If you have ever used a mechanical toothbrush, razor or body massager to get yourself off.

* If you have a dildo.

* If you have a name for your dildo.

*If you have ever used a “strap on”, or had anyone use one on you.

* If you have your nipples, tongue or genitals pierced.

* If you own any porn videos.

* If you have a membership at an online porn site.

* If you visit chat rooms or game rooms to talk about sex or have cyber sex or phone sex.

* If you’ve ever dialed a 1-900 number on purpose.

* If you've ever had sex with someone you just met.

* If you don’t feel the need to hide your Maxim or Hustler magazines because “they’re not porn”.

* If you doodle pictures of naked people when you’re bored.

* If you had any kind of body part obsession or fetish.

* If you have ever ended sex with scratches, bruises, floor burns, bite marks or bleeding.

* If you have ever used knives, razors, thumb tacks or other sharp tools during sex.

*If you have ever had sex while wearing a mask or with someone who was wearing a mask.

* If you've ever had sex with half your clothes still on.

* If you save any of your past lovers underwear.

* If you frequently don’t wear any underwear.

* If you sleep, walk around your house or have ever cooked while naked.

* If you do pole dancing, lap dancing or stripping as workout or as an actual job.

* If you have ever used a sling, swing or harness for sex.

* If you engage in “swinging” and don’t need a swing to do it.

* If you have ever filmed yourself getting yourself off or having sex.

* If you like other people to watch you get off.

* If you have ever tried “rimming, fisting, frottage, flagellation, fellatio or cunnilingus”

* If you have ever cross-dressed when it wasn’t for a Halloween party.

* If you know what GLBT means or the difference between "Transvestite" and "Transsexual".

* If you have ever used or been a “sexual surrogate”.

* If you have ever paid anyone, or been paid by anyone to have sex.

* If when you hear the word “fantasy” the first thing you think is “sex”.

* If when you hear the word “pleasure” the first thing you think is “sex”.

* If when you hear the word “moan” the first thing you think is “sex”.

* If you think the word “pussy” has nothing to do with animals or plants.

* If you have ever bought candles to melt them and make “hot wax”.

* If you have ever used your feather duster but not to actually dust.

* If you have ever bought a Kama Sutra book or calendar just to look at the pictures.

* If you took yoga to get more flexible for sex or to imagine having sex in those positions with other people in your class.

* If you’ve ever bought a yoga or “buns of steel” work out video to jerk off to.

And finally,

* If you’ve ever dressed up in a furry animal costume to have sex…

You Might Be a Freak!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Don't Be Jumanji

Some "caveman" tactics are good. LOOKING like one on the other hand, is *always* bad!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Political Party Quiz

A very short quiz to determine which political party you actually support.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Next Leap for Sports

There have been some pretty amazing things done in sports throughout the ages.

The last decade or so of video clip collections show the incredible feats and falls of the last generation of athletes. And there is a growing trend in unexpected ways of overcoming normal sport challenges.

With the increase of hip hop, break-dancing, gymnastic style moves being incorporated into virtually every type of physical activity, I think we're going to see more sports officials scratching their heads and looking through rule books trying to figure out how to deal with the impressive and unprecedented.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Furtive Friends, Unfathomable Foes

How well do you know your friends?

Should you really keep your enemies closer?

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Sexy Smell Of Love

His arms came around her suddenly, pulling her close. She nuzzled the warm skin of his chest through the top buttons of his shirt, breathing in deeply his arousing male scent.

Freshly laundered cotton, musky body spray, and the unique scent of his skin tantalized her senses. She flicked the tip of her wet tongue along the edge of his collarbone and closed her eyes as his lips brushed her forehead and he drank in the sweet smells of her glossy clean hair and honey smooth skin.

She wiggled closer against him feeling his hard ready response to her own eager longings. A teasing breath of mint stirred and tighten a coil of heat in her tight belly when he leaned in to kiss the warm pulse fluttering at her neck. Her nostrils flared as the spicy masculine heat emitting through his clothes urging a hot wave of ticklish desires through her female parts. Her skin tingled in anticipation as his warm rough hands slid down her sides to cup her firm round …

Ask anyone and they’ll tell you that smells matter.

One of the fastest ways to turn someone on (or off) is through scent.

Hormones are released through the skin and body fluids to indicate genetic mating compatibility and the female body’s readiness to be impregnated. In animals they call this “going into heat”. You could call it that for some humans as well.

Perfumes, colognes, body sprays, lotions, creams and washing products are a multi-billion dollar industry. They promise the effects of wearing their smells will overcome the object of your desire and also win you love, power, respect and lots and lots of sex.

And there is no doubt that there is some truth to it.

Mint, vanilla, strawberry and musk are among common and popular smells that have both an enticing and calming effect on people. Combine that with the hormone laden clean perspiration of both males and females and the result is seduction.

Stinky armpits/ body odor, bad breath and cigarette smoke are a few of the biggest turn off smells.

But the chemicals in a person’s body give them their own “personal scent” and THAT is the real force behind the scent of attraction.

To spice up thing with your partner, have them go scent shopping with you. Pick out a few new products that you both like that can be sprayed over a bed, splashed on each other during a sexy shower together or dabbed at the base of the throat for added enticement when close enough to catch a whiff.

Sometimes just a new smell can add a different feel to a relationship by making them smell like a new (yet familiar and comfortable) relationship.

So while great personal hygiene is a must, and wearing pleasant smelling odors are helpful, there is much that is determined in sex appeal by a person’s own body chemistry matching up with another person’s.

For those who are single, the next time your date leans in for a quick hug, they really might be trying to smell you. It wouldn’t hurt to smell them back.

Monday, April 12, 2010

You Get What You Fight For

You don’t get what you wish for.

You don’t get what you pray for.

Often, you don’t even get what you pay for.

But with enough effort, perseverance and determination, you DO get what you fight for.

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration and inspiration. -Evan Esar

No one is going to hand you your dreams.

You’re not just going to wake up one morning and realize all you ever wanted just fell in your lap.

For better or worse, life doesn’t work that way. You have to go after what you want. Dig in your heels, tighten your grip and grit your teeth. It’s probably going to involve some suffering.

Whether you are longing for a victory in sports, politics, finances or love, you have to actively and often aggressively wage battle to obtain it. There will be obstacles. There will be set backs. There might even be some failures. But you’ll never taste the unbelievably sweet joy of victory unless you unleash your inner warrior and go head to head with whatever or whoever is keeping you from your prize.

Not all fights are a straight shot though. Negotiation. Humility. Strategy. Evasive maneuvers. All these are necessary sometimes when offensive tactics just won’t do the trick.

Like any good fighter knows, you have to have a few surprises up your sleeve. You need to be willing to calm your inner focus and then go balls to the wall.

“The harder the fight, the sweeter the victory.”

So what if the fight seems too much work? What if you just won’t do what it takes to achieve those dreams?

If you won’t fight for it, someone else will. And then they will have earned the victory. In the natural order of the world, with cause and effect, effort and reward, you get what you work for. You obtain what you fight for. You win what you’re willing to bleed, cry, sacrifice and die for.

Didn’t work for it = Didn’t earn it = Don’t value it = Don’t deserve it

If you aren’t willing to fight for something, you don’t deserve it.

Thinking – Walter B Wintle

If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you like to win but think you can't
It is almost certain you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you're lost.
For out of the world we find
Success begins with a fellows' will.
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are.
You've got to think high to rise;
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man;
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.

So forget the shooting stars, the wishing wells and the four leaf clovers. Put up your dukes.

NOW you’re ready.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Wealthy Is As Wealthy Does

"A fool and his money are soon parted." Chinese Proverb

Just one more example of how people can come from little acquiring suddenly more than all their ancestors and family put together and then blowing it all in a few short years. Read This.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Substance Before Passion?

Every good relationship needs both romance and stability, common ground and attraction. But what order should you figure them out with a potential partner? And is one more important than the other?

More to follow!

Friday, April 9, 2010

Forethoughts on Foreskin

New reasons to continue an ancient practice.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

American Resorts, Er… Prisons

Homeless? Lost your job and evicted from your home? Just don't feel like getting a job?

Move to Illinois and commit a crime. Then kick back and enjoy the good life!

If THIS is prison, where do I sign up?

Punishing the married, the working class and the average citizen to support the illegal immigrants, lazy asses and criminals.

Good Job Obama!

You didn't warn everyone that the "Change" you were bringing was going to be F@ked Up! (or maybe you only told certain people and THAT is how you got elected...?)

The pictures are of Cook County Correctional Center in Illinois

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Do *Everything* Yourself

Being a pretty competent and independent minded person, I hate to rely on others. I like having my own transportation, my own tool, my own cash.

I'm of the opinion that self esteem comes from the ability to do for yourself. You can't ever feel very good about yourself if you have to depend on someone else for your basic needs.

Competence = Confidence

Dependency = Immaturity + Incompetence = Low self-esteem

So start building your self-esteem! Whatever it is! Learn how to do it yourself!

Fantastic websites where you can seriously learn to do it all by yourself.

Do It Yourself (Home Improvements)

Do It 101

Instructables (Everything else!)

Bottle The Sunshine

Monday, April 5, 2010

They're Playing "Our Song"

Above almost anything else, many people relate how they feel about their relationship with a song. And looking back at songs throughout the written and oral history of the planet, it’s safe to say that has always been the case.

What is it about the romantic (or heartbroken) state of mind that urges a person to lyrics? Poetry is the same way. The depths of joy and pain felt towards those who were loved or lost seem to bring out in humans that need to quantify the emotion in prose. And maybe with a melody.

Many animals are the same way. They seem to feel a need to emit sounds of joy and loss over their mates, offspring and loved ones too.

When I was 19 and in college, I met someone I thought I couldn’t live without. We had a whirlwind courtship that lasted a mere 10 weeks. Just as my family was starting to think we might be becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, he and I eloped. A popular newly released song at the time that seemed to perfectly describe our feelings was “Truly, Madly, Deeply” by Savage Garden. That was “our song”.

Time wasn’t on our side though. We’d dove head first into a marriage without first checking to make sure the ocean of our love wasn’t too shallow. It turned out to be more of a puddle. We had virtually nothing in common and while we both grew in many ways struggling for several years to make it work, by the time we called it quits our theme song had become Linkin Park’s “Numb”. If divorces get songs like weddings do, that would have been our divorce song.

It might seem juvenile sometimes to have a song, but it may be that the song not only gives us an idea of where our head and heart are at the time, it might help us express to others how we feel when our own words elude us. And it could be that if a song comes on the radio that reminds you of someone, it might indicate what you subconsciously think about them or a unconscious realization of how realistic a chance the relationship has.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Eggs, Bunnies & Crosses

Another confusing, candy laden, religiously affiliated, media hyped holiday.

Praise the Lord and pass the chocolate bunny?

Friday, April 2, 2010

Multi-tasking 101

There are some things you can do simultaneously and it's a no-brainer. There are other things that if you try to do simultaneously, it just means you have no brain.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

What If...There Is NO God...?

It might be a foolish thing to wonder.


It might be a foolish thing to believe in.

But since this is a day of celebrating the fool, (and it takes place JUST before the Celebration of Easter...hmmmm...) one might as well ask the question today. It certainly would be the absolutely BEST April Fools Joke in History if there isn't a god.