Monday, June 29, 2009

Make Room...For Love

My closet it full. Really full. Overflowing.

So is my garage. Even after having a garage sale.

My linen/ tool closet doesn't have any extra space.

I have boxes of dishware and cooking supplies in my garage because there isn't any room in my kitchen cabinet.

I don't even have a table setting in my dining room because it doubles as my office and storage space for my business supplies.

As I look around my house, I realize... even if I were ready to invite another person into my heart, have I made any room for them in my house?

My schedule is the same way. I skate on Thursday nights. I have softball games on Friday nights. I alternate between the batting cages and taking in another skate session on Wednesdays, or I'll hit the shooting range or climbing gym. I normally do shopping/ errand running or interviews on Monday or Tuesday night, and when the weather is nice, I'll garden until after the sun has gone down. Any filler time in there I'm writing, reading, doing laundry or taking advantage of my gym membership since I'm committed to getting in 5 1/2 hours there every week.

My weekends are a collection of outings, home improvement projects, shopping, yard work, getting together with friends and family and attempting to remember what rest and relaxation are.

I lead a very full life. I love my life. But am I making room in my life for love?

Probably not. If I were to be completely honest, I'd realize if I were to hypothetically get married in even in 6 months- I have no freakin' clue where the guy and all his stuff would go! Heaven help us both if he has pets or children!

I'm not really sure why this aspect of relationships would have eluded me for this long, but now it's something I should be thinking about and actively fixing.

While being spontaneous and flying by the seat of my pants is a fun and exciting way to live, I do like the smooth efficiency of having a plan and knowing the outcome of certain decisions.

If nothing else, I should at least have some idea of the hypothetical "What ifs".

I think my best case scenario would be the guy already owns a house that I love and that is big enough for all the stuff we need to keep. I'd sell off the rest and lease out my house.

Second best case scenario is he and I sell our properties and buy a larger house.

Worst case scenario- he plans to just moves in and he and I have a HUGE rummage sale where we seriously weed through both of our stuff and then donate whatever isn't sold.

Right now I don't have any plans for anyone to move in. I'm a bit old fashioned in that I would expect the wedding to come before the move- so we'd better be seriously serious.

But I don't want to be single for the rest of my life. And it would be unrealistic to expect the best case scenario. So it might be a good idea if I took inventory of my house and garage and figured out where to stash a man and his own life's personal property collection.

After all, it doesn't make any sense to clear room in my heart and schedule if when all is said and done we'd need him to live in a shed in my back yard.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Go Google Yourself!

I did it. And you should too. It was fun!

In this age of information availability, it's a good idea to know what other people can easily find out about you. Friends and family might already know you quite well, but strangers, people from sites you're a member to, those interested in you from dating organizations and employers might think of this as an extra way to get a little homework on you. And if there is any "dirt" to be found, you'll want to know what they're seeing.

One effective way to do that? Google yourself.

Run a search engine on:

Your entire name
Any alias names you've used
Your email addresses
Your past email addresses
Your phone numbers

If might surprise you what you find out about yourself.

I found out there is a real estate agent in Arizona with my name, and there is a skating rink in Kentucky that has the same name as one of my email addresses!

When you're done, you can even order the t-shirt.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

MySpace Dating: The Good, The Bad and The WTF?!



Since joining Myspace at the end of May of 07 I have received over 3,000 messages, mostly from strangers. These are some of the "worst of the worst"… as maybe the "best" of the "unbelievable"!.

The main question I have is… why can't anyone spell???? (Or write a coherent sentence? One that starts with a capital letter and ends with any of the following: ?! . It's super easy to write an email out on a word document page and then cut and past it into the myspace message or comment box. Writing so you can be understood shows you respect yourself AND the person you're writing to. )

All of these are "as received". I didn't add anything to them or edit them. I only starred out names and phone numbers to protect the people who ended up here. Incidentally, I also didn't add any of these people as friends!

So….. Here we go~

There are the messages overflowing with compliments:~~

* ur song is the shit and ur a gorgeous one urself


* cute smile your adorable! i dont normally like short hair on women but looks great on you, enjoy your nite

* how are you doing beautifull? Your page seems very interesting and those definitions are from the heart. Actually, you're very attractive, then you definitely every man treasures ( naw my treasures)lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

* hey u doin? lookin real good ova there! wat magazine u model for?

* i guess since your my friend its ok to talk to ya,or you'll just tell me off now.either way your pretty. (I hadn't added this person as a friend!)

* Bay Bay!!! Damn boo u are a cuttie.
Whats up?

* hey hottie just browsing around,saw your page thought id say hi,very name is w**** ,i justgot back in norfolk ounce again.time 2 make all the money,in a dirty old shipyard no dought.hope u great,,,holla back

~~The "I-don't-have-really-anything-to-say" messages:~~

* hey j whats up how you just thought i would come by ta get ta know you so whats up let me know a little more about urself other than u liking ta work out iwould like ta know you but working out is a plus

* hzy how are you my name is a**** just i want tell u i hope are you doing good becouse i like ur profile

* wuz up babii that was a really nice clipse!.......especially the youtube! thats real cool.......i would like 2 check it out next time if u would take me wit doesnt really take time to upload a music video on myspace, just let me know if u having problem doing that!

* Wats good ma

* you look sweet
what sup
im d***
i skate
play drums
and bodyboard
hit me back

* hey jackie you look you know how to have fun...whats up im j***** its all good into punk rock i mean real punk rock what are you into...

* wats up hey u wassup im T*** just wanna say u r to cute tobe with noone

* hi whats up well i was wanting to say hi and to talk to. so hi

~~The "let's hook up" one liners:~~

* hey there i am in virginia beach till the 23rd. we should hook up.

* ma you are so damn sexxxy hot and all that will you like 2chill with me 2day baby holla back beautiful?

* hey sexi... wanna mess around?

* Hey, If you want to have some fun... add me as a friend, and drop me a line.

* hi how u doing and how was ur day like i really like ur profile and will be glad to get to know if ya give me a chance

* hey beautiful can i take u ona date

* Hey beautiful, Im in Pourtsmouth for a few days and was just looking around on here for someone to show me around and I saw your profile. If you want to chat or possible show a country boy around for a little bit let me know.

* How are you today beautiful? Tell me what i have to do so we can skip all the four play so we can get the show on the road

* hey im in the navy and im new here to newport news VA and im just trying to make friends and find a g/f and i saw ur page and wanted to know if u wanted to go on a date to get to know each other

* hey hey hey whats going on. awesome pics. i love the beach i cant wait. anyway whats up im d****. im comming over that way at the end of june im just looking for people to hang with at the beach for the day

* Hey beautiful i always need a "workout" partner. Your pics are cute. Give me a buzz

* hi im m*******.Im new to va, so looking for trouble to get into.wanna join??no really just looking for some friends.Im from tampa fl,love it there.well if you wanna get to know a one of a kind,holla back.m*******

* Hey a pretty white girl .... first ive seen since ive been here,,,, just leased a house on oceanview, currently in condo behind greenbrier mall... im here for work tearing down three huge buildings for the navy for the next year or so looking to find out what the hell this place is about....... It would be cool to hook up with the local crowd.... does the sun ever come out here ,,,,,,,

* hello im looking for a fling would you be interested to have one with me (This guy didn't even have a picture of himself on his profile!)

~~And message comments about my shooting:~~

*man you put some holes in that target i love a female that goes to the shootin range

*Hey how you doin.Nice shootin girl.What kind of gun you firing off?
(I had a picture of the gun next to the target and the name of the gun at the bottom of the target.)

* you and i have the same kind of sighting skills. really good aim and our compensation skills could use some work.

* love the pictures youre a great shot it looks like remind to never piss you off while you have a gun lol but you have a nice day

* whats up beautiful? i see you like shooting huh we should go sometime.ll lol nah for real tho thats coo you real active most chicks i aint never been mountain climbing whats it like?

* Girls that can shoot are pretty sexy, for types of firemars are you good with?

~~The "let's talk" messages:~~

* can we chat sometimes?

* hey how r u can i add u so maybe we can talk?

* how r u doing i hope u hit me back i would like 2get 2 know u better

* Hi i just saw ur page and i wanted to know if u would like to chat

* whats up , i really like your profile so write back if you would like to chat or whatever

* hi ur profile caught my eye,id like to chat with u ,ur a beauitiful lady add me as a friend so we can chat

* Hey sweetie , can u add me to chat or something ? im online now

* I'm T***** in Norfolk
I like your pics and profile
What do you think of mine?
Please write me back

* wow nice pics maby you could call me at home at 757--- ---- or my cell at --- --- ----.

* hi i'm j****** and was checking out your profile,and i would like to know if you could check out my profile, and if you are interested i would love the opprortunity to have descent conversation with you to see if we have anything in common

~~A few surprising and random things:~~

* Love the profile you are a very well rounded girl you can ride my motorcycle if you can sew some stuff for

* How r u doing today? My name is T******* but the friends call me T-***. Im 26 living in VA Beach but dont mind the profile Im currently separated from my wife. What does a guy like myself have to do to get to know u better or maybe even spend some time with u. Get back to me asap. Bye T***
P.S. I would like to talk to u some how some way as a matter of fact I think u should have this 757--

* Hello Jaclyn!!!!! oh my we have a lot in common as far as interests go!! It makes since after i saw that u are also a Gemini.
Anyway just saying hello and hopefully we could chat sometime,because it is hard to find people with the same interests.
Have a good weekend and hope to hear from ya.

*hey u r a sexy girl i swear u realy r do u wanna a bitch boy to serve u u beautiful goddess casue i will u r hot u dont even have to give me any ass just make me ya bitch and we good . u can do what u want to use me fo rmoney fo whateve u want i dc u deserve to use someone

OMG you can’t be serious
*hi, nice profile and pics. any chance i can interest you in me? hope to hear back from you!! (this guy is more than 20 years older than me!)

I SEE SOMETHING I LIKE N U. MAYBE ITS YOUR SMILE, or even those eyes.i guess i was on 1 of your friends page by accident and i saw u, BUT SOMETHING MAKES ME WANNA GET TO KNOW U MORE.

How are you? I read your profile and I really like what I saw. I am hoping you will give me an opportunity to get to know you. I believe a man should treat a woman like a lady and respect her. I like treating a woman like a lady... but I need and want alot of affection and great sex!!!!

hope to hear from you

~~Then there is my personal favorite category": "The surreal" messages:~~

*amazing hello
wat a beautiful day isn't it?
well kinda browsing so i decide to stop by and say hi to you.
i am z*** as you can see for yourself.i dont think i should leave without telling you how shiny you make the earth look like with all these pretty smiles you got and a wonderful sense of humor.
i was thinking maybe you are God's sent to are you today?i am a nigerian and a university degree holder.
i know you know you are magnificent and i cherish wat u got on your profile.
you are really amazing.
love to hear from ya soon.take good care of yourself and take care of those smiles cos they are priceless.hit me up soon ok.

* Hi,
My name is p*** a graduate from oklahoma state. It took me when I noticed the first sight of you. I'm saying it would a groovy picture to see the one behind the camera. but, first I would like to laet you i am in norfolk. It would be great if we could correspond then hopefully talk over the phone. Then maybe, an enchanted moment where I would we can find ourselves allured to happiness. I have to say I always like being happy. Because I am P***. Well, I feel like I should leave the rest of the time for when you respond. ttyl....

Emails like these…keep my MySpace experience interesting! But Seriously! Some people should not be allowed to own a computer!

Monday, June 15, 2009

When It's Over

Break ups are hard. Whether it lasted 1 day or 15 years, there are ways to make it easier on the one being left. This is how, and why you should be kind about it.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Preposterously Pricy Parking

Clearly not everyone is suffering from the recent downturn in the economy.

While in some ways it's a relief to know that the "trickle down" effect is still in action, it's a bit...distasteful the way some people throw around money: paying more for a single parking spot than many people could ever hope to afford to pay for an entire house.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Friday, June 5, 2009

Cracks in our Superheros

It's confusing how we ended up so backwards.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Dating By Astrology

Note: I didn't write this. But I enjoyed it enough to post it here. The link for the original post is this.

Hey baby, what's your sign?
By Barrie Dolnick

Where should we go on a first date? is probably the most common question single people ask themselves. And hey, it's hard to know where the object of your affections would like to rendezvous, especially if you don't know each other too well. But if you want to make some sort of an informed guess, consider turning to astrology for the answer. That's right—each astrological sign has its own favorite first-date locales. So do some sleuth work to find out your date's birthday; then head out to one of the appropriate places below.

Best first date for an Aries

Man: And… action! Get tix to a sporting event, go bowling, or take a walk or a run together. If you want romance to grow, keep it moving and his heart rate will go up—for you.

Woman: She's got all-star confidence but appreciates a guy with a firm plan—no pussyfooting. Stay away from one-on-ones on the basketball court or the foosball table unless you want your butt kicked. Spice it up with dinner at a restaurant with a zesty atmosphere.

Best first date for a Taurus

Man: The way to a Taurus heart is through the stomach. Make dinner together even if you're the worst cook on earth (he's not). The process of conjuring the meal is where the magic of romance begins.

Gentle, high-end luxury is a man's best bet to impress, but if you can't afford your town's woo-hoo restaurant, finesse the details. Come with a flower, offer your arm, walk slowly and show you care. You can go anywhere if you do it right.

Best first date for a Gemini

Man: He's a smart guy with a short attention span. Theater, movies, or a dinner party will give him the entertainment factor he needs and a flirtation device you'll appreciate.

Woman: Honestly, you can take this woman anywhere—provided you're ready to lay on the charm, wit, and focus: If you make her laugh and listen to her stories, you could go to a municipal meeting about waste disposal and still have fun.

Best first date for a Cancer
Man: Do not put this guy on the spot. An easy-going evening with dinner, a stroll, maybe a nightcap or a coffee is enough. You can't rush him, or he'll crawl into his shell and you'll never see him again.

Woman: She's tough on the outside, mush on the inside—but you won't see the mush for a long time. Do something you truly like to do, and she'll trust you. She has an internal device that screens BS. Be sincere—or don't bother.

Best first date for a Leo
Man: Make an extra effort with your appearance, and make plans to laugh up a storm together. Theater, especially interactive shows or comedy clubs are catnip to this fun-loving sort.

Woman: Go for the "wow" factor—something exotic or exclusive. Front-row concert tickets are great, but a sparkler in her hot fudge sundae is also cool. Show you've thought it through, and she'll be impressed.

Best first date for a Virgo
Man: Be armed with compliments because he's tough on himself. Ask him to help pick a restaurant because he has clear preferences. Be patient—he won't believe you really like him at first.

A flea market would tickle her. Trust her to find a good bargain, spring for it, and she'll be yours.

Best first date for a Libra

Man: He likes cool stuff. You could take in a vintage car show, a jazz concert, or a movie as long as it's hip. Take time to look good for him—trust us, he'll notice.

Woman: She wouldn't mind a date from the 1950s. Show up, be courteous, take her to the malt shop or a classy cocktail bar, flirt respectfully, and see her home at a decent hour. She can't resist a gentleman.

Best first date for a Scorpio

Man: He must be in control—or at least feel that way. Keep it subtle, suggestive and sincere. He'd like to meet at a nice lounge where you can talk with body language and words at the same time.

Woman: She'll seem easygoing but she's totally shy. Give her lots of eye contact that says you think she's hot. If you take her to a little café and let conversation find its natural course, you'll be sending all the right vibes.

Best first date for a Sagittarius
Man:He's a curious guy who doesn't mince words, and neither should you. Choose an art exhibit, a local concert, or a behind-the-scenes museum tour. Afterward you'll have a lot to discuss during your first bottle of wine.

Woman: She's impressed by smarts and self-motivation. Make a real plan—a wine-tasting, a not-too-serious lecture, or a little-known jazz club. Pique her curiosity and she'll come back for more.

Best first date for a Capricorn
Man: Understated is this man's M.O. A light drink before dinner, a nice but not-too-hip restaurant, and a warm but not gooey goodnight kiss will do the trick.

Woman: This woman has high standards, so give her an evening that shows you know how to treat a lady: a reservation with a good table, a good wine, and gentle conversation. Let her come to you.

Best first date for an Aquarius
Man: He's quirky and lives in his head. Forget tradition, embrace spontaneity. Check out local listings for performance art, poetry readings, or try a new ethnic restaurant. He likes creative spirits.

She's open to your vibe and she's your playmate—what do you want to do? Go to a bookstore, people watch in a karaoke joint, try a local festival. Having not-too-structured fun is a great way to start.

Best first date for a Pisces

Man: Still waters run deep. He'll seem together and tough but he's soft and cuddly. No crowds, loud spaces or harsh music. A low-key blues club, a stroll under a night sky, and holding hands lightly. Then he'll take the lead.

Woman: She's into art, music and beauty but needs time to process feelings. Give her a glass of wine or two, take her to hear some music you both like, and grab an ice cream afterward. Gentle, romantic, and no-pressure is the ticket.