Monday, June 29, 2009

Make Room...For Love

My closet it full. Really full. Overflowing.

So is my garage. Even after having a garage sale.

My linen/ tool closet doesn't have any extra space.

I have boxes of dishware and cooking supplies in my garage because there isn't any room in my kitchen cabinet.

I don't even have a table setting in my dining room because it doubles as my office and storage space for my business supplies.

As I look around my house, I realize... even if I were ready to invite another person into my heart, have I made any room for them in my house?

My schedule is the same way. I skate on Thursday nights. I have softball games on Friday nights. I alternate between the batting cages and taking in another skate session on Wednesdays, or I'll hit the shooting range or climbing gym. I normally do shopping/ errand running or interviews on Monday or Tuesday night, and when the weather is nice, I'll garden until after the sun has gone down. Any filler time in there I'm writing, reading, doing laundry or taking advantage of my gym membership since I'm committed to getting in 5 1/2 hours there every week.

My weekends are a collection of outings, home improvement projects, shopping, yard work, getting together with friends and family and attempting to remember what rest and relaxation are.

I lead a very full life. I love my life. But am I making room in my life for love?

Probably not. If I were to be completely honest, I'd realize if I were to hypothetically get married in even in 6 months- I have no freakin' clue where the guy and all his stuff would go! Heaven help us both if he has pets or children!

I'm not really sure why this aspect of relationships would have eluded me for this long, but now it's something I should be thinking about and actively fixing.

While being spontaneous and flying by the seat of my pants is a fun and exciting way to live, I do like the smooth efficiency of having a plan and knowing the outcome of certain decisions.

If nothing else, I should at least have some idea of the hypothetical "What ifs".

I think my best case scenario would be the guy already owns a house that I love and that is big enough for all the stuff we need to keep. I'd sell off the rest and lease out my house.

Second best case scenario is he and I sell our properties and buy a larger house.

Worst case scenario- he plans to just moves in and he and I have a HUGE rummage sale where we seriously weed through both of our stuff and then donate whatever isn't sold.

Right now I don't have any plans for anyone to move in. I'm a bit old fashioned in that I would expect the wedding to come before the move- so we'd better be seriously serious.

But I don't want to be single for the rest of my life. And it would be unrealistic to expect the best case scenario. So it might be a good idea if I took inventory of my house and garage and figured out where to stash a man and his own life's personal property collection.

After all, it doesn't make any sense to clear room in my heart and schedule if when all is said and done we'd need him to live in a shed in my back yard.

1 comment:

Trish said...

I love this post! I need to get my act together, too. I'm not very attached to my stuff... I try not to be anyway... but it pains me very little to get rid of it. When I lived in Vacaville I visited a woman 50 years older than me at an assisted living home in Leisure Town somewhere. She was trying to get rid of all her junk... more like making room for the inevitable. She was venting about how we collect stuff our whole lives only to leave a big mess for those left behind. And then Josh and I watched that movie Sunshine Cleaning and I'm thinking that if I bit it right now... there'd be a LOT of stuff to go through. Not exactly what you were talking about, but I'm just likening it to my own situation. Going to go now and organize some part of my house.