Thursday, June 18, 2009

MySpace Dating: The Good, The Bad and The WTF?!



Since joining Myspace at the end of May of 07 I have received over 3,000 messages, mostly from strangers. These are some of the "worst of the worst"… as maybe the "best" of the "unbelievable"!.

The main question I have is… why can't anyone spell???? (Or write a coherent sentence? One that starts with a capital letter and ends with any of the following: ?! . It's super easy to write an email out on a word document page and then cut and past it into the myspace message or comment box. Writing so you can be understood shows you respect yourself AND the person you're writing to. )

All of these are "as received". I didn't add anything to them or edit them. I only starred out names and phone numbers to protect the people who ended up here. Incidentally, I also didn't add any of these people as friends!

So….. Here we go~

There are the messages overflowing with compliments:~~

* ur song is the shit and ur a gorgeous one urself


* cute smile your adorable! i dont normally like short hair on women but looks great on you, enjoy your nite

* how are you doing beautifull? Your page seems very interesting and those definitions are from the heart. Actually, you're very attractive, then you definitely every man treasures ( naw my treasures)lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

* hey u doin? lookin real good ova there! wat magazine u model for?

* i guess since your my friend its ok to talk to ya,or you'll just tell me off now.either way your pretty. (I hadn't added this person as a friend!)

* Bay Bay!!! Damn boo u are a cuttie.
Whats up?

* hey hottie just browsing around,saw your page thought id say hi,very name is w**** ,i justgot back in norfolk ounce again.time 2 make all the money,in a dirty old shipyard no dought.hope u great,,,holla back

~~The "I-don't-have-really-anything-to-say" messages:~~

* hey j whats up how you just thought i would come by ta get ta know you so whats up let me know a little more about urself other than u liking ta work out iwould like ta know you but working out is a plus

* hzy how are you my name is a**** just i want tell u i hope are you doing good becouse i like ur profile

* wuz up babii that was a really nice clipse!.......especially the youtube! thats real cool.......i would like 2 check it out next time if u would take me wit doesnt really take time to upload a music video on myspace, just let me know if u having problem doing that!

* Wats good ma

* you look sweet
what sup
im d***
i skate
play drums
and bodyboard
hit me back

* hey jackie you look you know how to have fun...whats up im j***** its all good into punk rock i mean real punk rock what are you into...

* wats up hey u wassup im T*** just wanna say u r to cute tobe with noone

* hi whats up well i was wanting to say hi and to talk to. so hi

~~The "let's hook up" one liners:~~

* hey there i am in virginia beach till the 23rd. we should hook up.

* ma you are so damn sexxxy hot and all that will you like 2chill with me 2day baby holla back beautiful?

* hey sexi... wanna mess around?

* Hey, If you want to have some fun... add me as a friend, and drop me a line.

* hi how u doing and how was ur day like i really like ur profile and will be glad to get to know if ya give me a chance

* hey beautiful can i take u ona date

* Hey beautiful, Im in Pourtsmouth for a few days and was just looking around on here for someone to show me around and I saw your profile. If you want to chat or possible show a country boy around for a little bit let me know.

* How are you today beautiful? Tell me what i have to do so we can skip all the four play so we can get the show on the road

* hey im in the navy and im new here to newport news VA and im just trying to make friends and find a g/f and i saw ur page and wanted to know if u wanted to go on a date to get to know each other

* hey hey hey whats going on. awesome pics. i love the beach i cant wait. anyway whats up im d****. im comming over that way at the end of june im just looking for people to hang with at the beach for the day

* Hey beautiful i always need a "workout" partner. Your pics are cute. Give me a buzz

* hi im m*******.Im new to va, so looking for trouble to get into.wanna join??no really just looking for some friends.Im from tampa fl,love it there.well if you wanna get to know a one of a kind,holla back.m*******

* Hey a pretty white girl .... first ive seen since ive been here,,,, just leased a house on oceanview, currently in condo behind greenbrier mall... im here for work tearing down three huge buildings for the navy for the next year or so looking to find out what the hell this place is about....... It would be cool to hook up with the local crowd.... does the sun ever come out here ,,,,,,,

* hello im looking for a fling would you be interested to have one with me (This guy didn't even have a picture of himself on his profile!)

~~And message comments about my shooting:~~

*man you put some holes in that target i love a female that goes to the shootin range

*Hey how you doin.Nice shootin girl.What kind of gun you firing off?
(I had a picture of the gun next to the target and the name of the gun at the bottom of the target.)

* you and i have the same kind of sighting skills. really good aim and our compensation skills could use some work.

* love the pictures youre a great shot it looks like remind to never piss you off while you have a gun lol but you have a nice day

* whats up beautiful? i see you like shooting huh we should go sometime.ll lol nah for real tho thats coo you real active most chicks i aint never been mountain climbing whats it like?

* Girls that can shoot are pretty sexy, for types of firemars are you good with?

~~The "let's talk" messages:~~

* can we chat sometimes?

* hey how r u can i add u so maybe we can talk?

* how r u doing i hope u hit me back i would like 2get 2 know u better

* Hi i just saw ur page and i wanted to know if u would like to chat

* whats up , i really like your profile so write back if you would like to chat or whatever

* hi ur profile caught my eye,id like to chat with u ,ur a beauitiful lady add me as a friend so we can chat

* Hey sweetie , can u add me to chat or something ? im online now

* I'm T***** in Norfolk
I like your pics and profile
What do you think of mine?
Please write me back

* wow nice pics maby you could call me at home at 757--- ---- or my cell at --- --- ----.

* hi i'm j****** and was checking out your profile,and i would like to know if you could check out my profile, and if you are interested i would love the opprortunity to have descent conversation with you to see if we have anything in common

~~A few surprising and random things:~~

* Love the profile you are a very well rounded girl you can ride my motorcycle if you can sew some stuff for

* How r u doing today? My name is T******* but the friends call me T-***. Im 26 living in VA Beach but dont mind the profile Im currently separated from my wife. What does a guy like myself have to do to get to know u better or maybe even spend some time with u. Get back to me asap. Bye T***
P.S. I would like to talk to u some how some way as a matter of fact I think u should have this 757--

* Hello Jaclyn!!!!! oh my we have a lot in common as far as interests go!! It makes since after i saw that u are also a Gemini.
Anyway just saying hello and hopefully we could chat sometime,because it is hard to find people with the same interests.
Have a good weekend and hope to hear from ya.

*hey u r a sexy girl i swear u realy r do u wanna a bitch boy to serve u u beautiful goddess casue i will u r hot u dont even have to give me any ass just make me ya bitch and we good . u can do what u want to use me fo rmoney fo whateve u want i dc u deserve to use someone

OMG you can’t be serious
*hi, nice profile and pics. any chance i can interest you in me? hope to hear back from you!! (this guy is more than 20 years older than me!)

I SEE SOMETHING I LIKE N U. MAYBE ITS YOUR SMILE, or even those eyes.i guess i was on 1 of your friends page by accident and i saw u, BUT SOMETHING MAKES ME WANNA GET TO KNOW U MORE.

How are you? I read your profile and I really like what I saw. I am hoping you will give me an opportunity to get to know you. I believe a man should treat a woman like a lady and respect her. I like treating a woman like a lady... but I need and want alot of affection and great sex!!!!

hope to hear from you

~~Then there is my personal favorite category": "The surreal" messages:~~

*amazing hello
wat a beautiful day isn't it?
well kinda browsing so i decide to stop by and say hi to you.
i am z*** as you can see for yourself.i dont think i should leave without telling you how shiny you make the earth look like with all these pretty smiles you got and a wonderful sense of humor.
i was thinking maybe you are God's sent to are you today?i am a nigerian and a university degree holder.
i know you know you are magnificent and i cherish wat u got on your profile.
you are really amazing.
love to hear from ya soon.take good care of yourself and take care of those smiles cos they are priceless.hit me up soon ok.

* Hi,
My name is p*** a graduate from oklahoma state. It took me when I noticed the first sight of you. I'm saying it would a groovy picture to see the one behind the camera. but, first I would like to laet you i am in norfolk. It would be great if we could correspond then hopefully talk over the phone. Then maybe, an enchanted moment where I would we can find ourselves allured to happiness. I have to say I always like being happy. Because I am P***. Well, I feel like I should leave the rest of the time for when you respond. ttyl....

Emails like these…keep my MySpace experience interesting! But Seriously! Some people should not be allowed to own a computer!

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