Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Color Blindness

What it is to be color deficient....

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Before You Invite Her Over...

7 Things a Guy Should Do
Before Inviting a Girl Over to His Place

If you’re planning to have female company and want her to feel comfortable and maybe even come back, don’t just read this; Print it out and hang it on your fridge.

1. Clean
Pretend your mom is coming over for an inspection. This goes double for if you have pets or room mates or if a smoker lives there.

• Vacuum the floors
• Wipe off the counters
• Rinse out the sink
• Put away dishes
• Hang up your laundry
• Clean your toilet
• Wipe down the bathroom sink
• Clean the bathroom mirror
• Clean your bathtub/ shower
• Empty all the garbage cans
• Straighten items on your shelves, desk
• Tidy up your closet space
• Wash your sheets and make your bed
• Stash shoes under your bed or in your closet
• Dust off the TV and other flat surfaces

Basically make your place look tidy and reasonably clean. Even if you don’t normally have a “no shoes inside policy” it would be a good idea to start one. It impresses women and really cuts down on how much sweeping and vacuuming you have to do on a regular basis.

How a person lives in their person space says a lot about them. Make sure the place looks like a normal, interesting and mature guy (and not a gross, irresponsible slob) lives there; that’s the first impression you want to leave her with. FYI: If your place is disgusting, chances are she’s not going to want to stay long or even think about taking anything off- not even her shoes.

2. Provisions

Regardless of how used you might be to “roughing it” there are certain basic things a girl is going to expect and appreciate if she comes to visit you, especially if it turns out to be a sleep over.

Kitchen check:
• Liquid Hand soap
• Napkins or Paper towels
• Lined garbage can
• Liquid dish wash soap (like Dawn)
• Dishwasher soap
• A dish scrubbing brush
• Clean kitchen hand towels
• A clock
• Clean cups
• Clean silverware
• Clean plates/ bowls

Bonus Points
• Owning pots and pans
• Spatulas, can openers, etc.
• A blender or mixer

Bedroom check:

• More than one pillow a w/ pillow case
• Sheets and extra blankets
• Clean shorts and t-shirt of yours for her to borrow

Bonus Points

• A floor fan if it’s summer or noisy where you live
• Kleenex box
• Curtains over your blinds

If she spends the night, don’t assume that means you’re going to get lucky or that you are going to share the bed. Be prepared to chivalrously give up your bed if she thinks things are moving too fast. Do it because she’s a lady and it’s the right thing to do. Do not guilt her. That will just make everything more awkward and almost guarantee there won’t be a next time. Just make sure that there is enough clean, comfortable bedding for whatever the sleeping arrangement ends up being.

Bathroom check:
• Toilet paper
• Liquid hand soap
• Shower curtain
• Trash can
• Hand towels
• Extra Bath towels
• A (clean!) bathroom rug
• Tooth paste, mouth wash and an extra tooth brush

Bonus Points:
• non-steroid-smelling shampoo
• extra unopened disposable razors
• Gender neutral hand/ body lotion
• Q-tips

As amazing as it might seem to guys who get along without these things on a regular basis- no normal girl will overlook your not having these.

3. Stash the Stash

• You might be a huge Jenna Jamison fan or ‘Maxim’ might be as dirty as your magazines get, but if you have a pile of girly magazines around, you are going to send her into serious self-conscious overdrive. (or possibly tick her off.)

Most girls know that guys enjoy looking at attractive women in magazines. But they don’t want to be reminded of it. If you don’t want her to suddenly develop an inferiority complex or get turned off, do both of you a favor and put the magazines out of sight.

• And while it might be comforting for a girl to know that you can be friends post-break up, she’s not going to want to see pictures of you and your exes around your pad. So if you have on your fridge or on a cork board or as a screen saver on your computer photos of the one who got away, the one who broke your heart or the one who reminds you to think with your brain and not your…hem… lower brain, get those out of sight too.

No girl wants to think you consider her second best or that she’s the half-time show while you’re waiting for Ms.Shoulda-been-right to come back. Keeping pictures of past flames and loves around will make it seem like you are anything but over your past. Give the girl a chance to see herself as part of your future.

Bonus Points:

• You have at least one gender-neutral magazine she can flip through while you shower or are otherwise busy. Such as: “Time”, “Travel”, “Money”, “Entertainment Weekly” or a local news magazine. Your reading material says a lot about you too. Having intellectual magazines will impress most girls, even if they don’t say it.

• You have at least one photo of a blood relative somewhere. It doesn’t have to be recent, and it doesn’t need to be of your parents. Just something that suggests you don’t hate, or have been disowned by your entire family.
Pictures of your parents suggest respect and good relationship qualities.
Pictures of your grandparents suggest maturity and values.
Pictures of your siblings indicate good relationship abilities.
Pictures of your child suggest you’re family man minded
Pictures of your nieces/nephews indicate you’re playful and affectionate.
Extended relative pictures suggest you’re considerate of the larger

4. Food
Even if your place is just a stopping off spot before going somewhere else, it makes you look incredibly insensitive and irresponsible if you have nothing to offer her to eat or drink. Keep in mind that ‘guy snacks’ and ‘girl snacks’ are seldom the same thing. That doesn’t mean you have to stock up on diet and low fat foods, but there area a few selections you can’t go wrong with.

• Unflavored Crackers: Wheat Thins, Soda Crackers,
• Fresh fruit that doesn’t perish quickly like apple, orange, grapes, etc.
• Fresh veggies that don’t perish quickly like baby peeled carrots
• Sliced bread and chicken or turkey lunch meat
• Dry Spaghetti noodles and regular Spaghetti sauce
• Cans of chunky Chicken noodle or Baked Potato Soup

Gum. Even if you aren’t a big gum chewer, having a few different kind and flavors on hand is a good idea. Especially for after eating or if there might be some kissing involved. Having even a small selection will make you seem incredibly thoughtful.




Sunday, May 24, 2009

Shameless Gratitude

This was originally going to be a letter in response to an email I recently received, but I think it has a home in my collection of inspirational, take-control-of-your-life blogs... It was written Oct. 2, 2008

The tone of wonder and amazement attached to occasional commentary on my single and divorced status is both flattering and almost embarrassing. To every person who has brought pink to my cheeks and a heightened sense of value from statements like: "I can see why you were taken for so long" or "What kind of idiot would leave you or let you leave?" or "How can you possibly still be single??"- I profusely thank. I cherish those comments and think of them more often then I should!

But the truth is, I- like everyone else- am a flawed person. I have my strengths and weaknesses. I have my moments of both sides of the spectrum. I'm on a path to self-awareness, self-improvement and enlightenment. Hopefully my successes help to outweigh my failures. And I DO have failures. Loads of 'em!

In the last ten years I have had many wonderful and terrible experiences that have helped me alter the focus of my life and my perspective on things.

I am convinced that perspective is one of THE most important things a person can have and alter to improve their life and the lives of those around them.

Entire books could- and should- be written on the subject, along with mandatory high school classes, GE required college courses and optional self-improvement seminars. You ARE directly affected by every aspect of your perspective and THAT in turn, alters and moves the direction of your life.

While it may seem like an odd thing to say, I am grateful to my ex. I do not regret the nine years we were married. I do have regrets of things that happened during that time- mostly with time and energies wasted and resources poorly used and relationships I did not value enough- but I do not regret having spent nine years married to him- fighting with him, arguing with him, compromising with him and learning from him. I think the act of trying to force our very different perspectives and upbringings together caused a sandpaper friction that help whittle away some of my rougher edges.

I am convinced that if I'd been married to a more accommodating guy, one who wouldn't have forced me to do things on my own, figure out frustrating situations by myself and deal with the messy business of life in a less starkly insecure way- I would have been too lazy or complacent to change and grow which has helped me become the person I am today.

As it is, the tragedies and trials, frustrations and losses I've experienced have allowed me to gain perspective and realize I AM stronger and more capable than I thought. I HAVE more talents and abilities than I ever would have imagined. And I AM more adaptable then anyone who knew me growing up would have guessed.

But without having been faced by astounding troubles and terrifying situations, I never would have discovered that. I never would have flexed my "personal character" muscles and realized I had not even begun to tap into my own potential.

I have become grateful for my problems in life.

I know it's borderline crazy sounding, but sometimes when I get a headache or a stomach virus, after taking a swig of the fastest acting pain medication you can get over the counter and vowing to never leave the house again without hand sanitizer and a gasmask… I remind myself that I should be grateful for that mild reminder that the other 364 days of the year I have a healthy, strong body- and I'm not battling cancer or some degenerative disease or disorder that impairs my lifestyle and cramps my daily schedule of physical activities and creative, intellectual pursuits.

I AM the only thing getting in the way of my success. The wisdom of the brilliant statement "you cannot know the sweet without knowing the bitter" rings true in every aspect of life. I cannot live long enough to learn every lesson on my own. If I am to "see further by standing on the shoulders of giants", I have to be humble enough to learn lessons from other people and learn the lesson life teaches me the FIRST time.

Resisting learning from a problem does not change the problem; it does not improve the situation: it simply ensures that it roadblocks your own progress and limits the creativity of what could be an innovative solution.

THAT is the beauty of life. Without the problems, you would not, could not, ever improve upon what you are at the beginning.

"There is nothing to be learned at the summit, and everything to be learned during the journey."

My life, like many others, has been peppered with sadness, disappointment and atrocities. But by keeping an open mind, an optimistic attitude and an "Others have had it worse so I have no excuses and I will overcome" perspective- while I may emerge from each new trial a little scarred, I WILL still triumph.

Life may beat the crap out of you, and people will disappoint, betray and abandon you at every turn, but if you pick yourself up every time, grit your teeth, dig in your heels and keep going- you will always be victorious.

I am grateful I was bullied as a child for being so different and not fitting in. It taught me in a way I never could have otherwise learned to be sympathetic to others. To recognize their need to be loved and accepted. To acknowledge everyone's humanity, no matter how different they are from me. To be empathetic to people who's trials seem incomprehensible. And to never treat people less than I would want to be treated. It taught me to stand up for myself since no one else will. And that self-esteem comes from within- it cannot be bought or inherited and no one can give it to you.

I am grateful I grew up without my parents, so that I might always remember how desperately each child- my children- need their parents. How fundamental that time and attention and love *on a daily basis* is! How BOTH parents fulfill a vital role that the other can NEVER substitute completely. How fleeting childhood is and how impactful it is on the rest of a person's life.

I am grateful I lost my mom and stepdad to a tragic car accident when I was 24, and learned first hand that life is uncertain and you should never let stupid grudges get in the way of your love. That the people you care about should always be the focus of your life. That life is momentary and you should never take people for granted, no matter how they might frustrate or infuriate you.

I am grateful my ex divorced me. I don't think I would have ever left him, no matter how diverged we'd grown; no matter how loveless our marriage had become. And I would have stagnated, simmering in a false sense of security about doing the "right thing" and "hanging in there" for the kids. But because my ex took the initiative and left me- literally- with no other options but to re-evaluate and take charge of my life- I have discovered new exciting hobbies, had amazing new growth experiences, made incredible new friends and taken on life with a new sense of wonder and enthusiasm.

I am grateful for my personal failures and struggles- some which have left me shell-shocked, a sobbing heap on the floor, wishing desperately for a different life, a different body, a different *anything*. Those dark times have taught me to not judge and criticize other people's failings and weaknesses. To expect other people to let me down so I'm not resentful and bitter when it happens. To always have a backup plan because you never know what life will throw at you- but that life WILL deal you unfair and painful blows when you least expect it.

And I'm trying to be grateful that I'm about to lose my grandparents who raised me. The frailties of old age and disease are winding down their own journeys in this life. They don't have much time left and I'm about to be without any kind of "parent" figure in my life. I know I will overcome this as well.

Much as it pains me they are over 3,400 miles away and even if I see my hero- my grandpa again, he will have been so altered by the degenerative disease of Alzheimer's that he probably won't recognize me.

And I am incapable of relieving my other hero- my grandma- who only still recently is in remission from breast cancer, sustaining major hearing loss and other ailments of age and is now elderly and weak, struggling to provide care and support for her slowly dying husband of 60 years- I must remember that life is a beautiful, wonderful thing. That *time* is too precious to waste.

Don't wait to realize your dreams. Don't let fear hold back your ambitions. Don't let pain and problems slow your successes. It seems appropriate that I heard just this morning the country song that says: "I hope you get the chance, to live like you were dying".

Sweat, blood and tears are all part of this experience we call life. But love, wonder and determination allow us to emerge from this life, transcended- molded by brutal experiences into amazing people; humbled and broken- yet wise and powerful.

Don't waste a moment of your time. Live. Discover your passions. Realize your dreams. Tackle your personal monsters. Cherish the people around you. But whatever else you do: experience life- the vein pulsing, back breaking, mind blowing, excruciatingly real and painfully vivid, intoxicating pleasure… of LIVING.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Sexiest Female Body Poll

Ignore the faces, this is about body type preference.
Which body type do you consider the sexiest?

Which body type would you want your wife and mother of your children to have?
Girls: Which of these bodies would you choose to trade yours for?

1.The Average Girl.

2.The Athlete
3.The Runway Model

4.The Body Builder

5.The Playmate

6.The Full Figure

Which one would you choose?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Fast & The Furious

Summer time is a wonderful time to do things. Things you normally can’t or don’t do during the other seasons. Like go to water theme parks, ride motorcycles, go camping or water jet ski.

Summer is also a great time to go fast. I’m not talking about speed. I’m talking about taking a break from something for a certain duration of time. That’s called fasting.

Some people may think it only refers to abstaining from food and drink because that is the most common use, but it can actually mean taking a break from any specific activity.

In this case, I’m referring to the big T: Television.

With all the great outdoor activities to do and all the events that take place during the summer, it’s a perfect time to allow more time for those events. After all, you can watch TV all winter long when you’re stuck inside because it’s cold and dark outside.

But during the summer- it’s the short, limited time during the year when you can really enjoy good weather and good-weather-specific hobbies and past times.

What would a fast from TV be like?

Let’s just throw ‘two weeks’ out there. Could you go two weeks without turning on your TV? You’d read the news online, get it from the newspaper and magazines or hear it on the radio. You can still use your computer, Blackberry and cell phone; surf the web, Twitter and email.

The rule is you just can’t be in the same room as a TV that is on. Not at your house. Not at a friend or family member’s house. No TV at all.

And if you want to really make this a complete fast, then you wouldn’t watch TV at a sports bar or go to a movie theater. BUT, you think that’s too much, then just abstain from TV in houses. Oh, and watching movies on your lap top is cheating.

So here is The Challenge:

• Two full weeks (starting at any day you choose) of no TV
• No TV at your house or at the house of anyone you know or visit.
• No TV or movies on yours or anyone’s lap top.
• No TV at restaurants or sports bars
• No going to the movie theater
• No Video games

How easy would it be to go 14 days without TV? If you don’t think 14 days if much of a challenge, then make it a full month.

According to recent statistics, the average American watches 151 hours of TV a month. That amounts to almost 6 ½ full days of non-stop TV watching a month and 78 full days a year!

Did you realize you might be spending a solid 2 1/2 months of every year in front of your TV? That statistic doesn’t even include TV watched outside of their own home (such as sports bars or movie theaters) or video games!

A person who watches 151 hours of TV a week- over the course of 50 years, will have spent right around 10 1/2 years of that...watching shows and commercials. That's disgusting.

And it's not just a waste of life, it's hazardous to your health. Not surprisingly, if you look at a graph of the increase of hours Americans log in front of their television sets, the increase of national obesity is scarily parallel. Coincidence? I think not.

Furthermore, America has the current dubious honor of being the fattest nation. Care to guess where we rank in TV watching? You guessed it. First.

In fact, Americas watch more than twice as much TV than most other countries. And that is nothing to be proud of.

People who become and live obese, don't live a long. They're prone to all kinds of problems. Everything from chronic back, hip and knee pain, to diabetes, breathing problems, heart failure, digestive problems and the list goes on. Medical and life insurance premiums are also higher for overweight people. Over the course of your lifetime, it's a huge financial loss.

Being more active cuts back on how much time you spend snacking and increases the number of calories you burn every day as well as improving your circulation and increasing your lung and heart performance. And a fantastic way to do that...(drum roll please) to turn off the TV.

How much more enjoyable and productive would your life be if you used all those hours and days of watching TV and actually DID something with them? You might discover you like reading, learn to play an instrument or get involved in some kind of organization you’d never heard of but now enthusiastically support or attend events you thought you never had time for.

And then, once you realize how much of your life you’ve wasted watching commercial trying to sell you useless crap, absorbing pointless and dumb situational comedy and over the top drama draining away your ambition and energy…you just might get furious.

That’s not to say that taking a break from TV will turn you into a tree hugging, TV smashing hippie, but it might open your eyes to what you’ve been missing. There is a whole world out there chalk full of exhilarating and thrilling things to do and see.

If you’re exhausted every day because you stayed up till 3 a.m. watching infomercials and spend all your free time T-VOings you are going to completely miss them. What a waste.

I get ticked off every time I’m stuck in a room with a TV and something stupid, obscene or depressing comes on and ruins my good Mojo. I don’t need that kind of crap bringing me down. Life is short. I don’t want to spend it watching other people get paid to pretend to be people their not and do absurdly ridiculous things or try to coax me out of my hard earned money. THAT makes me furious.

Maybe taking a break from TV will make you want to claim your precious time back too. Maybe you’ll get furious about all the years of your life you’ve lost parked in front of something that gives you nothing and deprives you of your most valuable asset- time.

Or maybe it won’t. Maybe after two weeks of skipping TV you’ll decide that zoning out in front of the boob tube 151 hours a month is the absolutely best possible way for you to spend your life.

One thing is certain though.
You’ll never know unless you give it a try.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Why Men Need Sports

Many little boys (and little girls) seem to be born to play sports. They grow up strong, lithe, athletically inclined and full of the energy and drive to play.

Somewhere between that and adulthood, all too often it somehow translates into weekends of wearing a jersey for a sport they don't play, decorating their house/car/truck/garage in the colors and themes of a team they're not on and talking about, planning game strategy for an activity they've never done.

Hours upon hours, translating into months and years of their life are dedicated to a tradition of eating snacks, congregating to yell at televisions and huddling in the cold and sweltering in the heat to show support for people they've never met in person and likely never will. 

And we can blame this all on our ancestors.
Since the very beginning of humanity people have lived in family units that combined with their neighbors formed communities. Call them tribes, clans, bands or social groups, but together they made up a collection of people who typically shared family blood (if not at first then eventually when their children grew up and married their neighbors grown children), a common land and common goal: survival.

Some groups focused on cultivating the land, others on collecting natural resources, creating useful items and generating trade. They worked together to defend each other against predators and invaders (or even natural disasters). They lived together, played together and bonded. They were loyal to the people they knew and trusted them to band together when anything dangerous  would come their way and share what they had for the survival and greater good of everyone. 

Other groups found that they were better suited to conquering other people's lands and subjecting them to taxes, slavery or other ways of reaping of what was sown without their personal effort. They were unified by their intentions to take over.

Both groups had to rally their people to prepare them to invade or defend. They would form leaderships based upon experience and skill. They would create strategy for holding or taking a position. They would focus on their strengths and find ways to compensate for their weaknesses. And they would train and prepare for the times when all that would define who would live and die.

In times in peace, they would build up their holdings and do physical activities to stay battle ready. They also separated themselves from other clans and tribes by choosing an emblem to represent them and colors they identified with. As larger cities and groups found it necessary to have a standing army, their armor and outfits became identical to each other. This was important not only for the bonding and unifying process, but made it much easier during a battle to know who shared their side so they didn't accidentally kill them.

Each generation that survived illness, accidents, disasters, environmental issues (drought/ starvation)
became reinforced with a need for adrenaline, energy to burn, muscle built for hard work (play or fighting included) and a urgent need to unite with others like them, be part of a common goal and hopefully distinguish themselves as a valuable asset to their community.

Fast forward thousands (maybe hundreds of thousands) of generations and the only thing that has really changed is life is gotten WAY easier. Few people die from the things they used to. Our neighborhoods are a million times larger and our need for the average person to be always battle ready has nearly become extinct.

BUT the need for adrenaline, the energy to do more than just work to live and the desire to be part of something larger than themselves and distinguish ourselves in our societies is just as programed into our genetics as it ever was. We are born ready and longing for something that is fundamental, yet intangible.   

Scary and exciting, our history of ancestral blood has people on some instinctual level craving to be battle ready with no battle to fight. In the absence of an outlet for this need for banding, bonding and battling, people become menaces to society. It translates into citizen unrest, domestic violence, random acts of violence, depression and a whole host of other problems.

This is why we need sports. Sports are mock wars.

It gives people the unity they need with other people who share a loyalty to a certain group and emblem. It gives them a purpose for their adrenaline and excess energy. And it give them a chance to distinguish themselves with physical prowess and superior skills or strategy in society.

Just like famous warriors of other countries or tribes were feared and revered by their acclaim, teams nowadays can respect, challenge or covet another teams best players.

We cannot deny the urge we are born with to kick, run, throw and use our bodies and minds to overcome other people's defenses, to prove we can overpower them and take what was theirs. Even if it's just a title and a trophy instead of their homes and precious things.

Nor should we force centuries of instincts into the bland and complacent life our machinery and technology heavy lifestyles enable us with. Not only should we encourage our children to band and bond and battle, we should keep doing it even into adulthood.

We shouldn't be spectators wearing uniforms that name someone else, sitting on the sidelines glumly shaking our fists, eating hot dogs, slurping beer and shouting to the wind. We should be out there experiencing the clash of will, the unity of teamwork and the pride of contribution! 

Each and every one of us came from the loins of an ancient bloodline that fought and struggled and somehow managed to live long enough to create a new generation. Somewhere inside each one of us is a fierce warrior who craves being part of the excitement and glory of winning and learning from losing. 

Gladly, we live in a time where we don't have to sharpen our swords at night and pray our children live to see their next summer, our lands unmolested by people who would slit our throats to take what we give our lives to have. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't actively participate in what we do have available to us. Sports. An opportunity to use what all those centuries of survival, conquest and dominion have instilled in us. Don't sit passive in the stands, watching the action unfold in front of you. Get in there and relish the chance to be part of the action!

Professional sports may garner the elites of our societies and generate pride in our shared ownership of a country, county or district. But local level sports or even pick up games between friends and family provide excellent exercise, recreation and outlets for aggression. It's a fantastic way to get to know the people around better, make new friends, develop your own untapped potential, fight depression and give added purpose to your life. Whether you're considered an average, incredible or terrible player is really irrelevant. Sportsmanship skills can still be developed that translate into other areas of life where you do excel.

So the next time you have a free weekend and were planning to spend it in front of the couch or attending a game, stop yourself. Join a local team or create your own team. You don't have to wait for holidays (Turkey bowl anyone?) to play a pickup game. And if someone at home is giving you grief for your obsession with a sports team, they might be more supportive if YOU were one of the players, instead of just a "fan".

Centuries of breeding doesn't disappear. Use what your ancestors died to pass on to you. If they could see you now, would they approve you sitting in a seat waving a flag far from the action? Probably disgust would be closer to their reaction. So do what your were built for and enjoy the fact that the winning team won't be stealing your womenfolk and putting your head on a spike if you lose.

We should be true to our genetics which have evolved to Band, Bond and Battle. 

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Jam Skate, Break Skate

Chances are you fall into one of two categories.

1) You know that Jam/break skating is AWESOME and respect those do it well.

2) You have no clue what Jam/break skating is.

Well, I'm going to enlighten you.
Jam Skating
has been called many things. It's been around for decades and got it's start back in the 40's and 50's.

These are definitely not your parent's (or grandparent's) roller skates!

If you're not familiar with Jam skating, it might surprise you to know that it has a huge following with sponsored teams, competitions and the works. It's also the favorite hobby of many athletic people.

You'll often find that people who have backgrounds in dancing, gymnastics, hockey, martial arts, skate boarding, surfing and snow boarding will include in their style elements from their other hobbies. This lends a lot of uniqueness not only to that person's abilities, but also how they influence other skaters.

If you want to see more of prepared to be impressed.
Jam skaters do it because they love it, and consider themselves as much an athlete as person who does any other sport. Trust me... if you've tried it... you'll agree it takes strength, skill, balance, endurance and style to do. And a whole LOT of practice.

Jam Skating is still mostly a male dominated sport. However the girls who get into it take it pretty seriously. As the next generation of girls get into the sport, I think we're going to see stronger competition and girls including more break dancing and power moves in their repertoire.

Best Known Jam skating Teams:
Daytona Boys Team Roll*Line


V.O.W.2 Jam Skate


Learn to Jam Skate

Jam Skate Videos

The Breaks8 Empire

Break Skating gets it's name from combining break dancing moves with skating. It typically doesn't involve skating around the entire rink, but staying more or less on one section of the floor and executing moves in time to the music that are fairly acrobatic.

Some people create routines for themselves, for partners or for groups. Other skaters do what is called "free styling", which means you're improvising movements, and making it up as you go along. A lot of new moves are created by something that happened impulsively while free styling or even resulted from starting to fall and catching yourself with some creative move.

While Jam and Break skating is done in almost every rink across the USA, but as with clothing styles and food preferences each region has a somewhat different style of skating. They even infuse the same moves with their own flavor which makes it look like a totally different move.

Some areas value what are called power moves, which typically involve a large physical movement like kicking your legs, doing a flip or a jump. Other places put a lot of effort into smoothness and rhythm. Flowing to the beat of the music and getting the right timing with dips, ankle movement or turns with a lot bending of the knees are what they appreciate.

There are also certain areas that are just know for making completely different choices. Detroit, Chicago and Eastern/ Southern areas for instance do more partner and trio skating that involves holding hands or locking wrists.

As skaters travel across the country to share and learn new skating moves and ideas, and online video sharing inspire more blending of styles, I think we'll see skating go to the next level. Not just of popularity, but of finesse and skill.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Hanging Out vs. Dating

There is a pretty distinct difference between dating and hanging out. While you have probably done some of both in the last year, you may not have given either too much thought. Here is the break down:

Hanging Out

Intentions: have fun; socialize
Attraction: based upon common interests and personalities blending well; may include appreciation of the others looks, but may not.
Expectations: Does not include sex or sexual acts.
Feelings: Friendly, stable, enjoyment of company, affectionate in a ‘close as family’ way
Physical contact: very little; casual; friendly; plutonic/ not sexual
Financial costs: each person pays their own way or takes turns paying
Differences: Mutual agreement in most areas is nice but unnecessary. Agreeing to disagree is fine as long as it doesn’t interfere with ability to enjoy each other’s company.
Futures: Has indefinite shelf life. Future plans can be wildly diverse and not affect friendship.
Other people: Can be one-on-one or with multiple people. Can spend time with other people as friends or romantically and share these experiences with each other openly. Getting into a romantic relationship with another person may reduce time spent together, but shouldn’t affect friendship.


Intentions: potentially progress to a ‘relationship’ status of some kind (friends with benefits, boyfriend/girlfriend or marriage)
Attraction: hopefully involves common interests, personalities blending well, intense interest, physical desire and a ‘spark’
Expectations: May include sex or sexual acts at some point.
Feelings: Exciting, hormone influenced, flux in emotions, includes desires and longings
Physical contact: flirtatious, increasingly intimate
Financial costs: it’s often assumed the guy will foot the bill or give gifts like flowers
Differences: Mutual agreement in most areas is vital to connection survival; too much agreeing to disagree is a deal breaker.
Futures: Usually lasts the duration of relationship interest. Future plans need to be similar and in harmony for survival of relationship.
Other people: Usually one-on-one or with other romantically inclined pairs. Don’t usually engage in romantic involvement with multiple people simultaneously, or tell the other about other people you are interested in. Once you choose each other, you typically stop dating other people.

Essentially, a date is someone you potentially want to have romantic relationship with while someone you hang out with is more like a close buddy or even a family member.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Kudos to Real Men

While girls should not hit guys (unless it’s self defense) guys should not hit girls. Period. And definitely not repeatedly. Fortunately, there are enough men out there that agree that for the occasional stupid idiot guy who tries to get away with beating a woman in public… someone (or a group of someones) step in to teach the guy a lesson.

Much love to the real men out there who treat women with respect, and defend those who cannot defend themselves!

Why You Never Hit A Girl - Watch more Fights

Monday, May 11, 2009

How To: Hit on a Girl

While hanging out with some guys at a bar the other day, I got a few men to give me some insight into some things when it comes to women.

One of their common complaints is that the guy is usually expected to make the first move. I reminded them that in most of the animal kingdom the males are the pursuers. They agreed, but still think that it is incredibly sexy and flattering when a girl just walks up and gives them a compliment or starts the conversation. Mental note.

If the roles were reversed, I have to admit that I would get tired of always being the one to initiate. But I also couldn’t help but wonder if maybe part of these guy's frustration is they’re just not completely sure of the right way to go about it, so it feels like more work and they don't get the results they want as often.

The art of hitting on a girl starts before you get anywhere near her. In fact, I’d say the first and most important thing is deciding which girl to hit on. With some girls it wouldn’t matter what line you gave them, how you looked or with what finesse you might be able to woo them: some girls just get off on denying a guy. Or maybe their standards are just unrealistically high. But assuming we’re dealing with an average girl here, there are a few things guys should know:

Look for clues to availability. Always, always check for a ring on the tell-tale finger first. Then look to make sure she’s not there with someone. It could be that another guy is talking with and flirting with her, but is not actually there with her. If she’s making full eye contact with him, whispering in his ear, smiling at his touching or resting her head against his arm or chest, it’s probably safe to consider her taken. But, unless she is kissing him or draping herself across him or holding hands, there is a good chance any touching between the two of them, is coming from the guy. This could mean she is still fair game. A girl who talks animatedly with a guy or several guys, may just be really friendly and likable.

Check out her body language. Girls who are receptive to a male’s attention sit with their backs straight, chest out. They fiddle with an earring, adjust their skirt or shirt and fuss with their hair. They glance around a lot and open their eyes slightly wider than usual. They exude nervous or restless energy even if they’re holding perfectly still. They might lick their lips, play with a straw or something in their hands like their car keys or cell phone. They cross their legs or ankles and unconsciously tilt their hips. If there is a guy in the room she’s attracted to, she’ll often rotate her body or chair to face their direction. If she’s facing you, she might have already noticed you and is waiting to see if you’ll return the attention.

Make eye contact. A girl who is interested will usually hold eye contact for a least at least 4 seconds. The longer the eye contact the stronger the interest and the more confident she is. If her eyes dart away after catching yours, don’t give up yet. She might be shy or just surprised you’re looking at her. If she glances back at you and smiles or even ducks her head down to hide a smile, she’s probably interested. An experienced flirter or confident girl will then indicate for you to join her or she’ll come to you. A female who’s not used to a lot of attention or is more reserved will sneak glances at you, hoping you’ll start a conversation. I you catch her looking at you repeatedly and her facial expression is open, interested or friendly, consider that an invitation to talk to her.

Originality is always refreshing. Whether it’s a statement, a gesture or a question, doing something out of the ordinary is a great way to stand out and catch a girl’s interest. Making a comment about something happening right then, something interesting in the news/media/entertainment industry or offering a compliment are good ways to start a conversation. Insulting someone else (in the room, that you both might know etc.) is never a good idea. You don't want to make your first impression a negative one. Insults are always negative, even if you think they're funny.

Pick up Lines.
Whether the girl likes what you say or not, you still get points for having the guts to say something to her.

This blog is not finished. More to follow...