Friday, November 14, 2008

My Blogs, Gender Roles and Feminism

The blog articles that I write are my own views, observations and opinions. Most are fact-based, some more loosely than others. I write them for my own amusement but also to throw information and ideas out and bounce them off other people. I don’t care if I don’t get responses, and I’ll certainly never ask for them, but I do like to know when people are interested enough to have and give a response.

While I am a staunch supporter of women and men being “different but equal”, it would be foolish to say that men and women are entirely the same.
The differences/ similarities and the way males and females interact with each other and their own gender are of infinite fascination to me. I talk and think about it extensively. Probably around two thirds of what I write about involves: sex, relationships, ‘courtship’, dating, reproduction, friendship between the genders and the biology/ psychology/ physiology behind them.

Whether you believe in “divine creation” or “evolution” or some combination of the two (or an alternate idea) it is undeniable that there are many general gender differences across not just the human species, but those of most living animals. I’m calling to attention some of these differences in humans, and making speculations on (if not why they are, then at least) how those differences are useful, based upon the roles that historically males and females have had.

I have been asked frequently enough if I’m a Feminist, that I think its time to address it. If your definition of a Feminist is an angry, butch woman who hates men, thinks women are better then men, thinks women don’t need men, and/or prefer women to men, and are opposed to any gender stereotyping/ traditional gender roles and thinks that “anything a man can do- a woman can do better” then NO I am DEFINITLEY NOT a feminist.

If your definition of a Feminist is a strong willed woman who is capable of independence, confident in her abilities as a human, has a firm sense of character and wants to promote confidence, happiness and equality in terms of opportunities, fairness and a broader sense of respect for women in general, AND who genuinely enjoys the company of men (or possibly prefers their company…lol) then I guess you can go ahead and call me a Feminist. I do not call myself one and honestly I prefer to avoid the word altogether since it invokes many emotionally charged perspectives.

I do not approve of suppression of the general females in any culture, for any reason. But I don’t support a female draft. I’m not opposed to the idea of someday having a female President, but I’ll give a resounding “Hell No!” to it being Hillary Clinton. I am not in favor of abortion during the entirety of a pregnancy; but in the first 8 weeks of some, I believe there are justifiable reasons for termination. I don’t believe a man should ever hit a woman, but I don’t think a woman should hit a man either (the exception being self-defense).

Not only do I shave my underarms, legs and bikini area, I’m actually having the hair permanently removed with laser hair removal. I don’t want to BE one of the guys and I don’t want to date women, but I actually prefer hanging out with guys over hanging out with girls.

I prefer most guy activities over girl activities. I very much embrace my femininity though. I love pink, clothes, and jewelry; agonize over bad hair days and get excited about buying a pair of new shoes and getting dressed up. That being said, I don’t use very many styling or make-up products, don’t have much use for a blow dryer or curling iron and wouldn’t know how to apply half of the make-up available in stores. I’ve only ever had two manicures in my life (both for weddings that weren’t my own) and have never been to a “spa” or had a pedicure. I am as proud of my muscles as I am my small waist.

I like hard work, manual labor, tools, weapons, physically demanding activities and am not afraid of cuts, bruises or bleeding. I do enjoy sewing, cooking and the occasional tedious craft hobbies like cross stitch and scrap booking (its more home video scrap booking though). I cry only about twice a year and work out while watching action movies.

I love to give (and get) long luxurious body rubs and go back and forth between wanting to feel and appear powerful/assertive/independent; cute/small/sweet or sensual/womanly/sophisticated; depends entirely on my mood.

I believe I think first with my mind and second with my heart. However, I cannot tolerate cruelty to people or animals, even in fictitious/ sci fi movies. I care about/ bond easily to people, but don’t fall in love easily. I think many people could easily (and incorrectly) misconstrue my caring, sense of concern and affection for the emotional attachment of romantic love. I’m sympathetic and compassionate but firmly believe in “tough love” and a person being self-reliant, responsible for their actions/choices and standing on their own two feet. I believe there is a time and place for different things and hope to have the opportunity to experience many of them.

So, there you have it. Take it at face value.

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