Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Why Women Care What You Drive
Some guys find it very irritating that women seem to like guys better who have a "nice" (aka: expensive) car. These are typically the same guys who do not have a nice car.
"Superficial", "money-hungry", "gold digger" are just some of the terms I've heard guys use to describe these girls.
But there are actually some really good reasons that women care what kind of vehicle you drive.
Let's shift gears for a moment and start with the three basic dating-to-marry expectations that men have for women first:
All guys will agree that they want to date and be with (aka.eventually marry)a woman who has a nice figure, a pretty face and good teeth.
*Intelligent & Not Crazy
Maybe the guy doesn't really want the girl to be that much smarter than him, but most guys with good self-esteem who are looking for a marriage partner and possibly a mother for their children- do not want a girl who basically has a box of rocks instead of a brain. Or one who will turn into a female version of Dr. Jekle and Mr. Hyde.
*Good Wife/ Mother Material
Depending on who you ask, this breaks down somewhat differently. But this usually amounts to: emotionally stable, faithful/ loyal, dedicated and usually good natured/ sweet tempered.
All other characteristics are just bonuses. Sure, you'd like her to be multi-talented, a closet nymphomaniac and wealthy- but you'll be happy if she's just easy to look at, easy to get along with and (at least somewhat) easy to have a family with.
It doesn't seem like a lot to ask.
Unless you are a woman missing a lot of the first category. Then suddenly the GUY is the one who is "superficial", "egotistical" and a "prick". Notice a correlation here?
The primary three things a woman looks for in a guy are:
*A Good Provider
Although we live in a century when women typically have employment even if they are married and have kids, most people agree that the guy is still ultimately the bread winner. This means having a perpetual source of income or the willingness to do what it takes to put a roof over your heads and food in your bellies.
*Good Husband/ Father Material
This hopefully involves no nasty habits like alcoholism or gambling and a willingness to consider having children (when the time is "right"). If the woman is smart this also means the guy doesn't hit women, he has some ability and willingness to do some household chores and has is priorities organized with "family" at the top.
*Physical Attractiveness/ Intelligence
This is really all lumped under the category of "What qualities can he pass on to our children?" which biologically comes before "Is he good arm candy?". It is all somewhat blended together in the subconscious qualities a woman looks for in a man.
Being a good provider ultimately, or eventually reins supreme though. A fit, sexy guy will always be able to get girls, no matter how much of an a-hole he his, but the girls worth keeping eventually wise up to personality over looks.
It's really more about provider over looks though. A guy who has a kinder, gentler personality is often also a better provider, or at least a more generous one. And everyone wants to be with someone who will be generous with them. Maybe he is that way because he feels a need to compensate for his lack of aggressively manly sexiness factor, or maybe there is some other genetic connection.
BUT- everyone knows that girls frequently choose to be with a less attractive guy who has money- then a hot guy who is dirt poor and doesn't care. If you're less attractive AND dirt poor and don't care- you're basically screwed.
Girls are programed to hook up with guys who will take care of them and their offspring. This happens through one of two ways. Money or Looks.
Money is obvious. They can afford living expenses and extra niceties. They can afford food, medicine and a comfortable lifestyle. And who doesn't want those things?
Looks often open doors. Statistically good looking people make more money at their jobs. They have the options for a greater variety of jobs, especially higher paying jobs and get promotions more and free stuff more often. People want to help good looking people- even if there is nothing in it for them. It's just human nature.
Ideally, everyone wants to have both looks and money. And they want those qualities in their mate. And they want their children to inherit those qualities.
It's fun to "hate" them, but if you could wave a magic wand and be born a drop-dead gorgeous person into a wealthy family with your own trust fund- you can't tell me you wouldn't do it!
What's the next best thing to that? Having your offspring -the carrier of your genetic code- have those things.
So what does this have to do with your car?
Well, if you drive a cheap, beat up car- girls are going to believe you are a bad provider.
After all, if you're a smart and ambitious person, you would do what it takes to have nice things. You would be driving a nice car.
Some girls might take a chance on you even if you drive a junker. They are usually the very young girls who are thinking about the present and not the future or the future of their children. But know this: they are hoping or believing that at some point that you will make more money and become a better provider than you are now.
And if or when that day doesn't come...there is a good chance she'll be off looking for a guy who does.
Like your physical face and body- which advertises what genetics you can pass onto the next generation... Your assets, like a house, a car and your personal property (including things like clothing, watches, boats, etc.) advertise what kind of provider you will be for a wife and children.
If you have and like and want nice things- this tells her that with you- she will also have nice things. And that your children together will have nice things. If you drive around in a trashed out junker, the only girls you will attract are ones who are trashed out junkers themselves.
You don't attract bees (smart and ambitious women) or butterflies (attractive and sexy women) with garbage. You attract them and keep them interested with sweet smelling and visually appealing flowers. You have to start with nectar if you want honey.
As a guy, would you want to be with some unattractive girl who is dirt poor and is content to live on welfare? Probably not. You have lots of other options out there- and you're gonna take them!
So why should a smart, attractive girl who has options be with a guy who is scraping the bottom of the "looks" and "provider" barrel? And she's going to reject you, regardless if it's because of poor genetics, laziness or an entire lifetime of "bad luck". Because she also has other options and, yes, she is going to take them.
You don't want to settle, but neither does she. And why should she? What can you offer her that is better than the security of good looks and being a good provider?
It's not necessary to have a brand new car, an expensive watch and six pack abs. HOWEVER those will definitely help. A LOT.
What does matter though is that your car doesn't look like a portable dumpster and you don't dress like you're homeless. Why would you be happy living like that anyway?
And no, having several "fixer-uppers" don't count. Just like a bunch of butt-ugly, stupid girls will never make one smart, attractive girl- a bunch of trashed up cars will never equal one nice one.
The point is that while not everyone can afford a Lotus, and not everyone can look like Brad Pitt, (nor can everyone be a rocket scientist) you should put your best foot forward. And that means if you want to get the girl who is the upgrade... you need to be the guy who is the upgrade.
And IF you are so lucky as to secure the interest and affections of a smart, attractive and sane woman- wouldn't you be ashamed to drive her around in your smelly, trashed up dumpster car? You should be!
More than likely though, she'll have her sights set on a higher standard of living than you are offering and living, and you'll never have that chance anyway.
But if you don't care to put forth the extra effort to attract the bees and butterflies- don't worry- there are LOTS of flies and cockroaches to go around. So, just keep driving that junker.
Posted by Jaclyn