The Man Who Wrote A Really Large Check

So far, (as a friend of mine pointed out) this is Obama's legacy.

Incurring an obscene amount of national debt is the only thing Obama has successfully done in his first year as president. I don't think there will be enough *change* left once he's done "redistributing the wealth" to make any real positive influence.

Super (Sexual) Women

Women seem to fall into three categories.

Low-sexual, Sexual and Abnormally Sexual.

Low-sexual women are the average. They can be a lot of talk and show especially when they’re still in their teens or early twenties, but they’re really not a lot of action. Or at least, regular action. Their idea of a satisfying sexual relationship can be anywhere from a couple times a month to a couple times a week. Max.

This frequency usually takes a huge nose dive after they’re past their mid twenties, had children or gotten married. They go from the coy or shy teenager, to the teasing twenties to fairly disinterested past the age of 30.

These women were probably never really comfortable with their sexuality. They don’t really feel comfortable with a male’s body and the older (busier and often fatter) they get the less they feel sex should matter in life, in a relationship, and for their partner.

These women make up the larger portion of the female population and are what make men reluctant (aka: dread like an appendage amputation) to take wedding vows.

For Low-sexual women having sex is something naughty to try when they’re young, something they do only because they’re badgered to by the man in their life, as a way secure a wedding ring or to have a baby. Or maybe it comes with other perks or presents. But basically it’s a means to an end. They don’t do it because they genuinely enjoy it. They don't *love* it.

Vanilla sex is as good as it’s gonna get with them. Everything and anything else is too dirty, “morally wrong” or against their religion.

Abnormally sexual women are sometimes confused with sexual women but there are several major differences. Sex is a compulsive, erratic thing for Abnormally Sexual Women. They are textbook nymphomaniacs. Interestingly, the word is used only to describe women who are hyper sexual. These women are described as being “addicted” to sex and tend to not care who they’re shagging as long as they’re getting it. These women may or may not be “freaks” (into really kinky sex).

Maybe they just want a LOT of sex and frequently. They may not actually have any “skills”, it’s just that they don’t ever get satisfied with sex. Abnormally sexual women have a medical condition, a mental disorder or were raped or molested at some point in their lives. For them the urge for sex is more about a mental/ emotional issue, or a biological imbalance.

Then there are Sexual women. Unlike Abnormal women, they were simply born with high sex drives. They genuinely enjoy sex. For them it’s as much as part of their daily life as say eating. Some people go a day or two without eating, but if you had a choice why would you?

Sexual women are not much different then a sexual guy. They know what they have because they found it fairly early in their adolescence. They know how to use what they have because they’ve been fine tuning those skills ever since. And they are quite comfortable with the male anatomy and they enjoy it the way men enjoy women's bodies.

Sexual women make up a very small percentage of the female population. They have the total package of skill, desire and looks. They haven’t been created by bad childhood trauma, they don’t have a mental or chemical imbalance and they’re not compulsive. They are quite discriminating about who they’ll be with, and generally speaking they’re really good at what they do. Really good. Because sex is something they love and it’s as much as part of them as the blazing colors across the sky are part of a sunset.

For them vanilla is just a starter flavor like at Cold Stone Creamery. It’s not just plain frigid cream in a paper bowl. It’s a delectable concoction of tasty surprises and mind blowing sensations served in a chocolate hand dipped waffle cone.

These are the women that make up men’s fantasies.

The fact is though, being one of these women is often very far from being a fantasy.

The hardest problem for a Sexual Woman is finding a man who can keep up. Seriously.

Young super sexual women tend to seek out (and are swooped up) by older men with skills and finesse. As the sexual women mature, they find they’re more compatible with younger men who have the fitness level and stamina that older men lack.

You could say the sexual woman in her prime has outgrown her male peers and seniors. From that point on, it’s a challenge to find a younger man with enough sophistication and maturity yet either natural ability or teachablilty.

Willingness to forfeit sleep, adventurous enough to push the sexual envelope and confident enough to be assertive with these sumptuous and vivacious creatures are highly desirable qualities for a sexual woman’s playmates or marriage partners.

The sexual appetite of these women frequently mirrors that of an adolescent boy. It’s strong. It’s willful. And it’s a delightful thing of beauty.

That is...IF she has a partner. Otherwise the restless lack of regular satisfaction seeps out of her pores like a fragrant yet rousing perfume. Which is somehow tangible in even their photographs.

What's not surprising is when doing a Google of super sexual women, two females consistently rank number 1.

Angelina Jolie and Marilyn Monroe.

What might be a little surprising is they're both Geminis.

And I would know. Angelina Jolie and I share a birth date (just different year).

Apparently it's a good time to be born if your a Super (Sexual) Woman.

Summer Skinny, Winter Fatty

If it feels like it’s easier to put on weight in the winter and easier to lose pounds in the summer, you’re absolutely right; and there are good reasons for it.

Cover Me in Tattoos

While the picture is funny, there are a few things that tattoos "suggest" about a person.

Can't Fight The Compliment

The only thing that might be as bad as a person who can't give a compliment, is someone who can't take one.

Some people just don't know how to take a compliment.

"Wow, you're really talented!"

"Look at those muscles!"

"You're beautiful."

"You have an amazing smile."

It seems like these are things anyone would love to have someone say to them. But some people honestly don’t know the appropriate way to respond to something nice being said about them.

The worst thing to say? “Shut up. No I’m not.”

Why argue? Whether from embarrassment, real modesty or false modesty, some people respond to compliments by disagreeing. Agreeing may make them feel vain. Or they may feel as though they don’t deserve the praise. It may be a ploy to get the person to give additional compliments or say the compliment more forcefully.

What people need to realize is that by arguing over a kind statement, they’re making the person who paid the compliment feel bad. Or possibly even angry. It’s almost an insult to not accept a compliment. It’s as though you’re saying: “You’re wrong. I don’t trust your judgment. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re stupid to think and say that.”

Ouch.

If you wouldn’t really say that, then don’t fight the compliment either.

This isn’t one of those times you can just smile and nod though.

The best thing to say: “Thank you.”

An alternative that: “Thanks, that makes me feel good.”

Even better: “Wow! That’s the nicest thing I’ve heard in a long time.”

A few more suggestions:

“That’s incredibly kind of you to say.”

“I appreciate hearing that.”

“Well thanks, it takes one to know one!”

If the compliment just seems too extravagant to believe (“You’re the best _________I’ve ever met!”) then just make your response more extravagant too.

“That’s a really generous compliment.”

“You’re crazy if you think that, but I like your crazy.”

“Now you’re just trying to make me blush!”

The main thing is just to accept an act of generosity, with generosity.

Pretend you’re giving that compliment to someone else. What would you like to hear them say back? That’s what you should say.

Learning to accept compliments seldom happens overnight. It takes practice.

If you’re not someone who usually gets many compliments so you can practice accepting them, start giving more compliments. Then watch and listen how other people respond to them.

A rule of thumb about compliments is only say it if you really mean it. No one appreciates a fake compliment. It might take a moment to think of something to say about someone that you honestly like, but there is bound to be something you can say and truly mean.

But remember this:
An honest compliment never gets old to a person who is genuinely please to hear it and not so vain that they expect it.

Fight Fair Dammit

Studies have shown that one of the best indicators of whether a couple’s relationship will survive and thrive is how they fight and argue.

People who can calmly listen to the other person’s side of a discussion even when they don’t agree with them, are far more likely to have a lasting love life.

Couples who respect each other enough to fight fair have the ability to make the rest of their relationship more loving and happier in good times and bad.

There are few rules to fighting that should just go without saying. School yard politics and having siblings and best friends should teach people how to play nicely and fight fair. Unfortunately this isn’t always the case. So for those who failed in the playground, were unfortunate enough to not have siblings or best friends or who simply need a reminder, these are for you.

1. Keep your hands to yourself when angry.
It is never okay to strike someone when you’re having a verbal fight. Guys shouldn’t hit girls and girls shouldn’t hit guys. End of story. If the anger needs to exit your body in a physical way, strike something that either won’t hurt someone (including yourself), won’t cause property damage (especially if it’s not yours) and can be easily fixed or replaced (like pillows). If you have a trigger temper, don’t try to touch the other person at all. The chances of a temper flare turning into physical violence is text book “too easy”.

2. Threats are NOT okay.
Don’t throw out threats to damage a persons reputation, share personal content with someone else, cut them off from financial or emotional support or cause them, their personal property or loved ones harm. You won’t swing the vote in your direction or sway your partner’s opinion by threatening them. It will raise the stakes, but only against you. If you make a threat you can’t or aren’t prepared to back up, this will make you appear like a weak liar. If you can and do back up your threats you’ll either be an a-hole or a criminal (possibly both). There is no win here.

3. Keep it above the belt.
Don’t resort to cheap shots that are intended to wound just because you’re angry and the conversation isn’t going your way. Insults, name calling or pointing out sensitive flaws will only throw fuel on the fire of yet another fight.

4. Speak the truth.
If it’s not true when you’re not angry, then it’s not true when you are mad either. Don’t say things you don’t mean, or that are honestly not true just because you’re having a fight and emotions are running high. It’s not going to help your argument that you’re correct if you’re resorting to lying to get your way.

5. Keep the past in the past.
Dragging up irrelevant stuff from previous fights or four years ago isn’t going to help anything. It won’t change the past or the present. But it will definitely hurt the future. It’s a great way to drive a deeper wedge between you and your sweetheart. It could end the fights completely, but only because you’ll end up alone and never speaking again.

6. Leave other people out of the fight.
Friends, old loves, in-laws, children and pet Fido have no place in a fight unless the argument is specifically about them. Don't call them up to get a third opinion. Don't have them stand in to listen to the fight. Don't make comparisons to them. Saying stuff like “You’re just like your mom: A manipulative b#tch!” is plain wrong. Not only is that going to cost you later, it’s probably not really true (after all you’re with that person NOT their mom) and it’s going to leave a scar that time and all the flowers in the world won’t make go away.

7. Remember who you’re fighting with.
You might be angry enough with this person to spit nails. It’s possible you’ve even contemplating wringing their neck or ripping their leg off and beating them with it. But keep in mind this is STILL someone you love and care about. At the very least, they are someone who deserves honesty, respect and a fair fight even if it’s your last argument with them. Chances are though, you truly want them to be happy and their opinions matter to you or else you’d be walking out the door and not staying to argue with them. Treat them like you love them, even when you’re angry at them.

8. Remember why you’re fighting.
Stay focused. What is the goal of the argument? To change/ improve something? To get results? Or just to pass the time and stir up emotions? Arguments can be a productive way to share different opinions and see both sides of a perspective. But if it’s not a productive conversation because you’re not listening to each other or emotions are too strong, stop it and save the talk for another time.

9. Compromise more than you think you should.
Great relationships are about sharing yourself with others and bettering another person’s life by thoughtful gestures and through kind words and actions. The relationship is often worth the small sacrifices you make to appease them. As long as you’re not always the one to capitulate or the argument isn’t over something obvious like paying the mortgage vs. taking a vacation to Figi.

10. Make up afterwords.
Whether you arrive at a compromise, got your way or feel like you gave in to let the other person have their way, end the fight the same way you would in a ring. At the very least shake on it. The expression “kiss and make up” comes to mind. But at the end of the day you want to end on a happy note so don't let the bad feelings linger. Let it go. Forgive and forget and move on. Don't let a fight ruin a day, or a week. Days and weeks add up to valuable years of your life. It's just a waste of a perfectly good chance to being loving and happy.

Fighting dirty is a quick way to end a great relationship with everyone you care about. Follow the Golden Rule whether you're engaging in sweet talk or a heated debate. And remember, if you’re stooping to eye gouging and groin shots- you’re leaving yourself open to the same thing.

Being good (and kind) in an argument so you can have a happy lasting relationship is one statistic you want to be part of.

So, Fight fair. Always. It will ensure that people respect you, trust you and love you even if they don’t agree with you all the time. And respect, trust and love are worth whatever it takes to earn them. Every time.

Dating TAG! You're Not It!

Sometimes you’re not sure of exactly what you want. Chances are you’re hoping you’ll recognize it if you see it. Either way you know you want to find it someday and then be completely satisfied with it.

While those statements could apply to anything from buying a car to starting a career, I’m talking specifically about the love of your life. Or at least the love of a long time.

Aside from a sense that “this isn’t quite it” when they meet someone, most people have only a vague idea of what their ideal romantic partner will be like.

While it would be foolish to think you can “leave nothing to chance”, it would be helpful to at least narrow things down a bit.

It’s a pretty good bet that you’ve got a better idea of what you don’t want, and qualities you’re not interested in.

Like a violent temper. Vicious mood swings. A crack addiction. Major co-dependence issues. A collection of large poisonous pet spiders. Stuff like that.

Okay so maybe those are too obvious. But the fact is, process of elimination can help you better identify what you do want. And it wouldn’t hurt to make a list. Seriously.

After you figure out what you don't want, you can write the opposite of that down as things you do want. An example?
Don't Want: Someone who's unemployed with no high school diploma.
Do Want: Someone with a solid job history and at least some college education.

If you don't need to do the reverse list first to know what you do want, it's still a good idea to make a list of what you're looking for. Not necessarily a check-off list, but pretty dang close.

Identify 10 qualities that you do want that are non-negotiable.
As a female looking for a man, my list in no particularly order would look something like this:

1. Is clean from substance abuse: non-smoker/tobacco/drug user and little/no alcohol use
2. Is fit: less than 12% body fat, enjoys healthy food and has a good workout ethic
3. Has his life together: a legitimate income, his own reliable transportation and doesn’t live with his parents or on someone’s couch.
4. Is affectionate but not overly “needy”
5. Genuinely likes and wants children
6. Has a good self image and is confident but not arrogant
7. Is mentally level headed and emotionally sane
8. Has a cheerful attitude/ optimistic approach to life
9. Wants a fair and balanced relationship (shares responsibilities, contributes to the relationship, etc.)
10. Has a great sense of humor


Then make a list of 10 things you’d prefer, but would be willing to allow a little leeway with. Again, my list looks something like this:

1. Lives an active, healthy lifestyle (ie. enjoys being outside/ sports, isn’t a couch potato)
2. Won’t be regularly gone prolonged periods of time (longer than two or three days at a time)
3. Fairly clean cut appearance (no facial tattoos/ piercings etc.)
4. Intelligent conversation with good life skills/ experience/ education
5. Is handy with tools/ has skills and interest in home improvements
6. Is smart with money (good at saving, on time with paying bills, has retirement plans etc.)
7. Tenacious and persistent about life ambitions. Has goal and actively working towards them.
8. Committed to making a great relationship last (includes romantic gestures and a willingness to compromise.)
9. Compassionate and kind-hearted
10. Is playful but can be serious when needed

You probably have a better idea of what you do and don’t want than you realize. But saying “I don’t know what I’m looking for” just makes you sound immature.

After all, maturity is knowing who you are, what you want and knowing how to get it. And you can’t very well expect to find a mature partner who will want to be with you, if you don’t know who you are or what you want.

So when you finally meet the amazing person who is exactly what you never realized you always wanted, you want to actually have some idea of what that’s going to look like, sound like and feel like.