Thursday, January 7, 2010

Buy Your Own Underwear

A few nights ago something somewhat shocking was said by a DJ on a radio station I frequently listen to while I am getting ready to go out.

I don’t know how the topics are chosen, but the subject they requested listener commentary on this particular night was:
At what age does a guy start buying his own underwear?

The female radio host suggested that age 19 was a good age for that.

I nearly dropped what I was holding as I turned to look at my radio with disgust and surprise.

Nineteen? REAlly??

The male radio host (somewhere in his mid to late 20’s at least) admitted that he still doesn’t buy his own underwear.

His mom mails it to him.



Holy crap! What are you? Six years old?

I’m sorry, but when my son is 17…I don’t even want to know what kind of underwear he wears! And since he should be picking it out, buying it AND washing it by himself that point…there is no reason I should know!

Certainly guys who join the military right out of high school must find the prospect of their peers (or men older than them) having their moms still buy their underwear amusing.

And how would a conversation play out with an 18 or 19 year old guy who’s trying to undress his date during a make-out session? So he drops his drawers and she asks:

“Hey…um… why are you wearing Spongebob underpants?”

“Oh, I don’t know. My mom picks out my underwear.”

Yeah. That’ll make a great impression! What a Casanova~!

I had a job at 15 and by the time I was 17, I not only didn’t allow anyone else in my family to buy my underwear, I’d washed them and sneak them back to my bedroom sock and underwear drawer. I personally wanted to hide the fact that I was wearing thongs.

I suppose it’s not an uncommon thing for guys though who typically don’t wear “lingerie” type clothing to not care if someone else does the legwork and foots the bill for something as unexciting a cotton briefs.

But what is supposed to happen when they finally move out? Is mom really supposed to ship it to you at college or wherever is your new home? Does the task of ‘guy underwear shopping’ supposed to fall in the lap of the girlfriend or wife?

I can see guys needing a little guidance when it comes to picking out
a) what looks good and
b) what fits
but honestly, once a woman with good tastes sets you on the right path, shouldn’t you just be able to replace it or buy more as needed on your own?

You observe as you’re doing your own laundry one day… “Hmmm….wouldn’t be a bad idea to pick up a few more of these”… and if all else fails when you go to the store where the brand is sold if you somehow forget what you’re wearing, you just pull the waistband of your pants open a bit, take a peek down your pants and remind yourself!

How can anyone be expected to take someone seriously when they need their mom (or another female) to restock something as basic as their underwear?

Clothing companies make some really great stuff for guys now. Especially for guys who are fit and could potentially look really good in their underwear, it’s a great opportunity to step up your game in the bedroom.

And even if you don’t have a killer body, don’t use that as an excuse to wear something that a homeless guy would reject.

Come’on. Admit it. You like it when a girl wears something under her clothes that gets your blood pumping. Do the women in your life a favor and return the favor.

Honestly, I’d rather a guy not wear any underwear than rely on their dear old mum to provide it. Besides, it’s just one less thing to take off.

But whether you choose to sport some nicely cut shorts or briefs, please…

Have a little self respect.

Buy your own underwear.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i think its more that guys hold on to underwear for a long time, and get new underwear as gifts. i mean underwear boxers, briefs whatever..has an indefinite lifespan..if a guy buys under wear its probably because its destroyed..which could take a decade?