The Upside of Porn

The complaints about porn are typical and practically historic. The arguments against it’s very existence are fierce and those who feel strongly about it are pretty vocal about their concerns.

Common complaints about porn:

• It’s addictive.
• It makes the viewer (male or female) feel inferior comparing themselves to people in the videos.
• It’s evil and immoral.
• It’s perpetuates “inappropriate” urges to have sex and in “inappropriate” ways.
• It makes people fantasize about people other than their partner.
• It raises the expectations in a relationship for sexual acts that may not be consensual to both parties.
• It’s a waste of time and money

The list goes on and on.

But where is a list for the positive aspects of porn? And yes, for an open minded person (even a woman) there are definite benefits to porn.

No one wants to be a bad lover.

No one wants to be with a bad lover.

Wouldn’t you rather become a good lover without having to embarrass yourself practicing on half a dozen people? And wouldn’t you rather know that the person you are with isn’t amazing because they’ve been practicing with half a dozen previous people?

While no one could (or should) consider porn videos to be a “how to” film on having sex, the fact is, once you get past the pulsating music and moaning, growling sounds, adult movies can be quite educational.

I suggest that adult films in moderation and used appropriately can be helpful and beneficial.

I would like to add the disclaimer, that I refer specifically about films in which the performers are enjoying their own and each other's bodies and doing consensual acts that they BOT like and take pleasure from. (I know there is a LOT of material out there that is about exploiting people's bodies, degrading women or their partner, creating a "master and slave" or subordinate and sensationalizing acts that are dangerous, cruel, painful, disrespectful and under normal circumstances would never be consensual or pleasurable. I am NOT suggesting anyone take notes from those films.)

The urge and drive to have some form of sex is inherent in all living things. It has to be so that the species will pro-create and continue to exist.

Not everyone however, is fortunate enough to be married or in a long term monogamous relationship where they can have regular intercourse. They might be too young*, too old, undesirable to potential partners, extremely introverted or living in a career situation (like military stationed overseas) that prevents the ability to maintain a healthy love life.

The body doesn’t understand or take into consideration any of these limitations. It still demands certain things for survival: food, water, sleep and sexual release. (Yes, sexual release is a vital part of maintaining a healthy chemical balance in the body and over all mental and physical wellness.)

Occasional access to adult films can help satiate that sexual release need, even though sexual contact with another person cannot really be substituted anymore than water or sleep can be.

The act of touching, accepting, giving and receiving of pleasure and connecting on an intimate level is mentally, physically and emotionally vital for a person to live and function in a normal, healthy and balanced way.

While the urge to have sex is a completely normal (and necessary) part of adulthood, the art of love making doesn’t isn’t exactly something you’re born good at.

Adult films can be used by a person who’s never seen the opposite gender undressed, to become familiar with their anatomy before having a partner. Let’s face it, the sex organs are kinda strange looking the first time you see them and looking at text books pictures don’t give the clearest picture of how they all function or look in 3D.

Relationships and connecting sexually can difficult enough without the added embarrassment of not knowing what to do, being shocked (or repulsed) when seeing the other person for the first time, and being afraid to touch them.


Adult films are very open about nakedness and how all the human parts can fit together. It really wouldn’t take watching more than one or two films to get the general idea of what the other gender looks like undressed and how they might enjoy being touched. This can relieve a lot of the tension and make intimacy feel like a more familiar and comfortable thing.

Couples who have fallen into a rut can use the occasional film to generate new ideas of ways to please each other or things to try. And since toys are often used in the films, it’s far more informative of how they are used and what they look like than viewing a sex toy shop online or walking through an adult novelty store.

Fantasies are sometimes better in our minds. Seeing a fantasy played out in a film with live performers can give a couple a better idea of what they’re considering before actually trying it. They might decide after watching it that it’s not for them, or that it could be just as much fun as they imagined.

The actors in adult films are typically fairly attractive, generally fit and nicely shaped. This doesn’t have to intimidate. It could motivate a person to get themselves in better shape if they realize it could improve their sex lives. Sex is after all a large component of a romantic love life and who doesn’t want theirs to be fantastic??

Many people who have had sex and are looking to commit to someone (ie. marriage) want to “test drive” their partner before locking themselves into a binding, legal contract. This is completely understandable. While watching an adult film together may not replace actually doing the act together, it could give a couple considering marriage a much stronger idea of what each others preferences and aversions are and if their sexual anticipations/ expectations will be compatible.

Of course, porn like other potentially addictive things (like eating fast food or playing video games) should be viewed in moderation. Anything that is used in extremes is unhealthy and dangerous. Even taking too many vitamins or drinking too much water is hazardous.

There will always be those who say otherwise, but porn doesn’t need to be something that is considered shameful or wicked. Just don’t show it to your kids, use it to replace intimacy with a partner or use it to make someone feel bad (maybe for not being wanting to experiment).


*porn is not for minors. But most 18 and 19-year-old are too emotionally young for marriage. Unfortunately that is when the sex drive, especially for guys, can be the strongest.