Thursday, March 18, 2010

Is THAT All You Got?

It might be odd to suggest something honestly worthwhile can be learned from a fairy tale princess cartoon, but I'm gonna say that a LOT of guys could learn something from The Swan Princess story.

Two young royal children are brought together every summer by their parents in hopes they will grow up to fall in love, marry and unite the kingdoms. Princess Odette demonstrates over their adolescence that she is proficient at many things but as she and Prince Derek go through their awkward growth stages, they genuinely don’t care for each other or their parent’s matchmaking.

One summer however just as they’ve reach full physical maturity, they meet for the summer and discover they’re very attracted to each other. Without so much as having a conversation with her Prince Derek was so stunned by her beauty that he quickly announces "Prepare the wedding!" Princess Odette questions his sudden change of heart toward her. “Well, you’re beautiful!” he announces almost giddy.

“What else?” Princess Odette wants evidence that he genuine likes HER and not just her looks.

“What else is there?” Was Prince Derek’s confused reply. Their parents and entire royal entourage groan. Completely the wrong answer. Princess Odette calls off the wedding, refusing to just be a trophy wife. Prince Derek needs to grow up before he’s proven he will value all she is and has to offer.

It’s been said that: “A man falls in love with his eyes, and a woman falls in love with her mind.” But I'd like to think that that is just maybe their primary source of chemical attraction and not why they fall in love.

It is undeniable that men are visual creatures. Everything from men’s comic books to guy magazines and instruction paperwork tend to be heavy on photos and artwork and skimp on actual words.

It’s is not to say that men are so shallow they don’t care about a woman having anything more than a pretty face, a nice set of tits, a thin waist and a plump ass. But well…that would probably satisfy many of them for a lot longer than they would want to admit.

Visual cues are important for mating and reproduction. But there has to be more than that.

“youre very beautiful, and you have a great body. would like to get to know better...”

“Just saw your recently posted picture. Now I definitely want to meet you!”

These are just a few of the short emails that I’ve gotten recently from guys writing to express interest in me.

It’s true that I like getting compliments on my looks and figure as much as anyone. I work hard to stay attractive and I like that it’s noticed and appreciated. But while those might be qualities that attracts guys to me, guys who notice something beyond that, are those who attract my attention.

After a solid hour of lifting and stretching at the gym the other day, I paused to take a sip from my bottled water and consider which muscle group to work next. My work out usually last 1 ½ hours per session and I typically work out a minimum of three days a week, depending on my schedule.

Some of the things I’d already done that day: warm up walk/ran for 20 minutes, done 40 leg lifts, used the 15 lb free weights for 50 reps, did 40 decline pushups and 400 incline sit- ups with various stretching between.

I’d just decided I was ready to do 3 sets of 5 reps at 95 lbs on the bench press when a reasonably attractive, fit guy I’d noticed came up to me. He seemed like a fairly confident guy and I was curious what his line would be.

“Hey…I just gotta say…you’re very beautiful”.

I couldn’t help it. I think my face registered disappointment that it wasn’t an observation about my pushing myself with my work out or even a question about what kind of music I was listening to on my I-pod. I honestly would have preferred if he’d made a joke about how I had my car key tied into my shoelace.

Any time a guy starts an opening line with a remark about a girl’s physical appearance anything he says afterwards is just going to sound like he’s trying to ‘close the deal’.

Although I thanked him for the compliment, he could tell I wasn’t that impressed.

“I’m just a guy” he followed up with, shrugging his shoulders, “I hope you don’t hold it against me.”

I didn’t. But I couldn’t help but think that with a comment like that, even if I HAD been knocked over by it, there was nowhere for me to go with his opening statement.

If you’re going to get up the courage to approach a girl, at least say something that allows her to have a response. Or better yet, say something that is funny, clever or even a movie cliché.

“So… come here often?” would have at least made me chuckle and from there we could have talked about our fitness routines and favorite physical activities since we *were* at a gym.

But instead he made an unoriginal comment about my looks. And from there we both went back to our workouts and I wasn’t really interested in talking with him further. And it’s a shame. I had been ready to find out if he was more than just a nice set of biceps and glutes.

But I mean, seriously? You like the way I look? Is that all you got?

1 comment:

schwarzefahne said...

I remembered this post a few moments after telling a young lady she had beautiful eyes this afternoon while eating at Subway. I told a woman at 17th Street Surf Shop in front of her husband that I liked her dress and I know I've made countless comments like that in the past. Sometimes men (or women) just like making a polite comment. It feels nice to pay a compliment, even if your intentions are only to say your peace and go about your day.