Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Before You Invite Her Over...



7 Things a Guy Should Do
Before Inviting a Girl Over to His Place


If you’re planning to have female company and want her to feel comfortable and maybe even come back, don’t just read this; Print it out and hang it on your fridge.

1. Clean
Pretend your mom is coming over for an inspection. This goes double for if you have pets or room mates or if a smoker lives there.

• Vacuum the floors
• Wipe off the counters
• Rinse out the sink
• Put away dishes
• Hang up your laundry
• Clean your toilet
• Wipe down the bathroom sink
• Clean the bathroom mirror
• Clean your bathtub/ shower
• Empty all the garbage cans
• Straighten items on your shelves, desk
• Tidy up your closet space
• Wash your sheets and make your bed
• Stash shoes under your bed or in your closet
• Dust off the TV and other flat surfaces

Basically make your place look tidy and reasonably clean. Even if you don’t normally have a “no shoes inside policy” it would be a good idea to start one. It impresses women and really cuts down on how much sweeping and vacuuming you have to do on a regular basis.

How a person lives in their person space says a lot about them. Make sure the place looks like a normal, interesting and mature guy (and not a gross, irresponsible slob) lives there; that’s the first impression you want to leave her with. FYI: If your place is disgusting, chances are she’s not going to want to stay long or even think about taking anything off- not even her shoes.


2. Provisions

Regardless of how used you might be to “roughing it” there are certain basic things a girl is going to expect and appreciate if she comes to visit you, especially if it turns out to be a sleep over.

Kitchen check:
• Liquid Hand soap
• Napkins or Paper towels
• Lined garbage can
• Liquid dish wash soap (like Dawn)
• Dishwasher soap
• A dish scrubbing brush
• Clean kitchen hand towels
• A clock
• Clean cups
• Clean silverware
• Clean plates/ bowls

Bonus Points
• Owning pots and pans
• Spatulas, can openers, etc.
• A blender or mixer

Bedroom check:

• More than one pillow a w/ pillow case
• Sheets and extra blankets
• Clean shorts and t-shirt of yours for her to borrow

Bonus Points

• A floor fan if it’s summer or noisy where you live
• Kleenex box
• Curtains over your blinds

If she spends the night, don’t assume that means you’re going to get lucky or that you are going to share the bed. Be prepared to chivalrously give up your bed if she thinks things are moving too fast. Do it because she’s a lady and it’s the right thing to do. Do not guilt her. That will just make everything more awkward and almost guarantee there won’t be a next time. Just make sure that there is enough clean, comfortable bedding for whatever the sleeping arrangement ends up being.

Bathroom check:
• Toilet paper
• Liquid hand soap
• Shower curtain
• Trash can
• Hand towels
• Extra Bath towels
• A (clean!) bathroom rug
• Tooth paste, mouth wash and an extra tooth brush

Bonus Points:
• non-steroid-smelling shampoo
• extra unopened disposable razors
• Gender neutral hand/ body lotion
• Q-tips

As amazing as it might seem to guys who get along without these things on a regular basis- no normal girl will overlook your not having these.


3. Stash the Stash


• You might be a huge Jenna Jamison fan or ‘Maxim’ might be as dirty as your magazines get, but if you have a pile of girly magazines around, you are going to send her into serious self-conscious overdrive. (or possibly tick her off.)

Most girls know that guys enjoy looking at attractive women in magazines. But they don’t want to be reminded of it. If you don’t want her to suddenly develop an inferiority complex or get turned off, do both of you a favor and put the magazines out of sight.

• And while it might be comforting for a girl to know that you can be friends post-break up, she’s not going to want to see pictures of you and your exes around your pad. So if you have on your fridge or on a cork board or as a screen saver on your computer photos of the one who got away, the one who broke your heart or the one who reminds you to think with your brain and not your…hem… lower brain, get those out of sight too.

No girl wants to think you consider her second best or that she’s the half-time show while you’re waiting for Ms.Shoulda-been-right to come back. Keeping pictures of past flames and loves around will make it seem like you are anything but over your past. Give the girl a chance to see herself as part of your future.

Bonus Points:

• You have at least one gender-neutral magazine she can flip through while you shower or are otherwise busy. Such as: “Time”, “Travel”, “Money”, “Entertainment Weekly” or a local news magazine. Your reading material says a lot about you too. Having intellectual magazines will impress most girls, even if they don’t say it.

• You have at least one photo of a blood relative somewhere. It doesn’t have to be recent, and it doesn’t need to be of your parents. Just something that suggests you don’t hate, or have been disowned by your entire family.
Pictures of your parents suggest respect and good relationship qualities.
Pictures of your grandparents suggest maturity and values.
Pictures of your siblings indicate good relationship abilities.
Pictures of your child suggest you’re family man minded
Pictures of your nieces/nephews indicate you’re playful and affectionate.
Extended relative pictures suggest you’re considerate of the larger
community.


4. Food
Even if your place is just a stopping off spot before going somewhere else, it makes you look incredibly insensitive and irresponsible if you have nothing to offer her to eat or drink. Keep in mind that ‘guy snacks’ and ‘girl snacks’ are seldom the same thing. That doesn’t mean you have to stock up on diet and low fat foods, but there area a few selections you can’t go wrong with.

• Unflavored Crackers: Wheat Thins, Soda Crackers,
• Fresh fruit that doesn’t perish quickly like apple, orange, grapes, etc.
• Fresh veggies that don’t perish quickly like baby peeled carrots
• Sliced bread and chicken or turkey lunch meat
• Dry Spaghetti noodles and regular Spaghetti sauce
• Cans of chunky Chicken noodle or Baked Potato Soup


Gum. Even if you aren’t a big gum chewer, having a few different kind and flavors on hand is a good idea. Especially for after eating or if there might be some kissing involved. Having even a small selection will make you seem incredibly thoughtful.


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