It's kind of silly to get dragged into such a childish pissing contest, but when one of my guy friends passed around this list of reasons why dogs are better than women, it got my dander up. (pun intended). So, of course I responded back with a list of my own.
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Why Men Prefer Dogs Over Women
*Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Why Men Prefer Dogs Over Women
*Dogs love it when your friends come over.
*Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
*Dogs think you sing great.
*Dogs don't cry.
*A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
*Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
*The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
*Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
*Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
*Dogs are excited by rough play.
*Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
*Dogs love red meat.
*Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
*Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
*If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
*Dogs don't shop.
*Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
*A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
*Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
*A dog's parents never visit.
*Dogs love long car trips.
*Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
*Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.
*Dogs like beer.
*Dogs don't hate their bodies.
*No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.
*No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
*Dogs never criticize.
*Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
*Dogs never expect gifts.
*It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.
*Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
*Dogs like to do their snooping outside, as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
*Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
*Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.
*You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.
*Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.
*Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
*Dogs never want foot-rubs.
*Dogs can't talk.
*Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
*Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
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Why Men Pick Women Over Dogs
*Sharing a bed with a dog will never amount to amazing memories- just lots of shed hair, possibly flea bites and a good chance of dog-food smelling slobber.
*A dog cannot have or raise your children.
*No dog ever fixed you a steak dinner.
*A dog cannot give you a ride to work or the airport when your buddies are AWOL.
*Dogs are worthless at giving back rubs, scalp massages or foot rubs.
*When was the last time your dog ran to the store to get something for you?
*Walking down a street with a hot dog on your arm will only make you look crazy, not lucky.
*The dog is the reason you can’t find the other shoe you ask your woman to help you find.
*A dog will not live long enough even if it could take care of you in your old age, which it can’t.
*Sharing a bed with a dog will never amount to amazing memories- just lots of shed hair, possibly flea bites and a good chance of dog-food smelling slobber.*A dog cannot have or raise your children.
*No dog ever fixed you a steak dinner.
*A dog cannot give you a ride to work or the airport when your buddies are AWOL.
*Dogs are worthless at giving back rubs, scalp massages or foot rubs.
*When was the last time your dog ran to the store to get something for you?
*Walking down a street with a hot dog on your arm will only make you look crazy, not lucky.
*The dog is the reason you can’t find the other shoe you ask your woman to help you find.
*A dog will not live long enough even if it could take care of you in your old age, which it can’t.
*Any “gift” your dog gives you will be chewed up and drooly, or dead and bloody.
*The dog’s drinking out of the toilet doesn’t qualify as cleaning it.
*Your dog doesn’t drop by your job to surprise you with lunch or call to say they miss you.
*A dog cannot make sure you leave the house with matching socks or coordinated clothes.
*A dog couldn't care less if you graduate from school, get a promotion, win a contest or prize or achieve a goal.
*A dog has no idea what to do with a dishwasher, washing machine, iron, oven or coffee maker.
*A dog doesn’t contribute to or help budget and invest in the household income.
*Your friends will never be jealous of your beautiful, intelligent and attentive dog.
*You’d never fantasize about an exotic cruise or tropical vacation… with your dog.
*A dog will never understand your passion for or help you with hobbies, sports or electronics devices.
*How many magazines about dogs do most men collect? Now how many about women?
*If you fall in love with a woman, you’re on cloud nine. If you fall in love with a dog, you’re in padded cell number nine.
*A dog will never laugh at your jokes, no matter how funny they are.
*Having a great dog in your life doesn’t make any luckier, happier or more self-confident.
*No matter how bored they are, a woman will never chew up the furniture.
*A dog cannot take care of you if you’re sick or after you’ve had surgery.
*The dog’s drinking out of the toilet doesn’t qualify as cleaning it.
*Your dog doesn’t drop by your job to surprise you with lunch or call to say they miss you.
*A dog cannot make sure you leave the house with matching socks or coordinated clothes.
*A dog couldn't care less if you graduate from school, get a promotion, win a contest or prize or achieve a goal.
*A dog has no idea what to do with a dishwasher, washing machine, iron, oven or coffee maker.
*A dog doesn’t contribute to or help budget and invest in the household income.
*Your friends will never be jealous of your beautiful, intelligent and attentive dog.
*You’d never fantasize about an exotic cruise or tropical vacation… with your dog.
*A dog will never understand your passion for or help you with hobbies, sports or electronics devices.
*How many magazines about dogs do most men collect? Now how many about women?
*If you fall in love with a woman, you’re on cloud nine. If you fall in love with a dog, you’re in padded cell number nine.
*A dog will never laugh at your jokes, no matter how funny they are.
*Having a great dog in your life doesn’t make any luckier, happier or more self-confident.
*No matter how bored they are, a woman will never chew up the furniture.
*A dog cannot take care of you if you’re sick or after you’ve had surgery.
*Having an attractive woman on the back of your bike will make everyone envious of you. Having any kind of dog on the back of your bike might get you arrested.
*Missing a dog will never make you feel like you’re missing half your soul.
*When was the last time anyone wrote an entire music album about wanting the love of a dog?
*If your dog wakes you up in the middle of the night, it will never mean you’re about to get laid.
*Dogs couldn’t mow the lawn or do home improvements if their life depended on it.
*A dog will never surprise you with an expensive gift or tickets to your favorite event.
*Missing a dog will never make you feel like you’re missing half your soul.
*When was the last time anyone wrote an entire music album about wanting the love of a dog?
*If your dog wakes you up in the middle of the night, it will never mean you’re about to get laid.
*Dogs couldn’t mow the lawn or do home improvements if their life depended on it.
*A dog will never surprise you with an expensive gift or tickets to your favorite event.
*Having had a lot of dogs will not improve your “status” with ‘the guys’.
*Having a dog around the house will never improve the quality of your surroundings.
*You’d never have the excuse of buying an expensive car or motorcycle- to attract dogs.
*You can't take your dog with you to the movies, to a restaurant, to a club, to a concert, to most sport events or any number of other locations.
*Having a dog around the house will never improve the quality of your surroundings.
*You’d never have the excuse of buying an expensive car or motorcycle- to attract dogs.
*You can't take your dog with you to the movies, to a restaurant, to a club, to a concert, to most sport events or any number of other locations.
*You'd never brag to your buddies about the incredible dog you have waiting for you at home.
*A dog could never intellectually inspire you, help you achieve your potential or support your ambitions to obtain success or happiness.
*Regardless of size, age or breed, your woman will already be fully potty trained.
*Dogs look ridiculous in slinky dresses, short skirts, bikinis and lingerie.
*Being with a dog never made your pulse quicken, your heart race or your world stop.
*Dogs can’t answer your questions, offer verbal sympathy, playfully debate or mentally stimulate you.
*Dogs don’t make you feel all gooey inside by telling you they love you.
*A dog cannot support you through college or when you’re “in-between” jobs.
*Wrestling with your dog never led to an intensely satisfying make-out session.
*No part of a dog fits perfectly with your body.
*Women take care of their own bathing, grooming and physical maintenance.
*You don’t wake up in the morning aching to be with a dog.
*If you give your dog away after a short time, they might not even remember you.
*No dog will ever smell as incredibly good as a woman. (not to mention taste…)
*Dog don’t make special occasions and holidays- special.
*The value of all a dog’s love would never amount to even a fraction of a woman’s love.
*A dog did not bring you into the world
*Regardless of size, age or breed, your woman will already be fully potty trained.
*Dogs look ridiculous in slinky dresses, short skirts, bikinis and lingerie.
*Being with a dog never made your pulse quicken, your heart race or your world stop.
*Dogs can’t answer your questions, offer verbal sympathy, playfully debate or mentally stimulate you.
*Dogs don’t make you feel all gooey inside by telling you they love you.
*A dog cannot support you through college or when you’re “in-between” jobs.
*Wrestling with your dog never led to an intensely satisfying make-out session.
*No part of a dog fits perfectly with your body.
*Women take care of their own bathing, grooming and physical maintenance.
*You don’t wake up in the morning aching to be with a dog.
*If you give your dog away after a short time, they might not even remember you.
*No dog will ever smell as incredibly good as a woman. (not to mention taste…)
*Dog don’t make special occasions and holidays- special.
*The value of all a dog’s love would never amount to even a fraction of a woman’s love.
*A dog did not bring you into the world
Honestly, any guy with any sense who can find a woman who likes dogs, can have both! Then it doesn't need to be a competition. Duh.
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