Monday, August 30, 2010
Online Dating: Like American Idol
Yup. There are similarities and as soon as I am able...you'll get to find out what they are! (Aren't you toe curling excited??)
Saturday, August 28, 2010
7 Things You NEED, EVERY Day
In order to stay alive and thrive you gotta have 7 things, pretty much every 24 hours. To be happy, healthy and stay youthful make sure you indulge in all seven every day!
1.Clean Air
Oxygen is of those things you take for granted. You don’t realize just how important it is until you’re not getting any. Breathing is about as basic as it gets in human necessity. Your brain and body can’t function without it. Toxin-free air is difficult to find sometimes. Between factory pollution, vehicle emissions, smokers and all the other crap that finds its way into our air and lungs, getting outdoors in nature and breathing deeply is the best way to refresh your body. Without adequate oxygen, brain and body cells die and people become anxious, unhappy and prematurely age. If you are a smoker, the fastest way to improve your health and mood is to quit smoking! Changing the filters in fans, vents and opening windows to allow in fresh air are ways to improve your air quality.
2.Fresh Water
A lot of controversy surrounds the healthiness of America’s government regulated tap water, privately supplied bottled water and a plethora of other water supply options, including: water filters, purification processes, or home-dug wells. Basically water should be clear, order free and not have any particular flavor or aftertaste. Following the “8 glasses of water a day” rule is great, but water should be what you drink the most of every day. Anything else should be considered a “desert drink”. And that includes *everything* else except plain milk and 100% Orange Juice which contain necessary Vitamin D, Vitamin C and calcium.
So that soda, coffee, or glass of wine you planned to have, even the new fad of “vitamin enhanced waters”, are all “desserts”. And that alcohol you drink…it’s toxic. Seriously. You might as well drink Drain-o. It prematurely ages you, takes its toll on your skin, brain function and gives you the disgusting (and dangerous!) beer gut. So put down whatever you’re drinking and choose a bottle (or glass) of water instead!
3.Nutritious Food
If you’re used to eating a steady diet of pre-packaged, microwavable, high calorie/low nutrition crap or fast food, chances are you have no clue how miserable you’re making yourself! It’s like putting the cheapest grade of gas into a Bugati sports car. That’s a crime that should be punishable by public flogging! A sexy, sleeked out high performance vehicle must be fueled with the good stuff! But YOUR body is the same way. Garbage in, garbage out. Your body has probably been “pinging” and grinding gears for a long time and you’re not even aware it doesn’t have to.
Eating fresh, raw fruits and veggies, whole wheat grains and really, really WHOLESEOM food will give you more energy and you'll have a clearer mind, a better memory and just feel happier for no other obvious reason. Organic foods grown without pesticides (which cause cancer), and other dangerous chemicals and processes are the healthiest foods which contain more vitamins and nutrients. Check out your local farmers market and health food store.
4.Sleep
Sleeping isn’t just a good idea. It’s mandatory. Not just for giving your body and mind “down time”, sleep is when your body heals itself (like the muscle tears you got at the gym) and rejuvenates all your microscopic working parts (like the cells of your skin, bones and organs). It’s also when your brain gets “backed up” and “defragmented” like a computer. Ignore these things for a while and your body won’t heal, your brain won’t work right and your ability to function at 100% is cut down to almost nothing. Go without sleep long enough and it will kill you.
Sleep deprivation has a list a mile long of negative side affects including: depression, mood swings, impaired body function, bad memory, poor thinking and reasoning skills, bad decision making, slow wound healing, degeneration of brain cells and the list goes on and on. If getting 6-8 hours of sleep a night is difficult, try taking a mild, over the counter sleep aid and sleeping 12-16 hours on your day off. It might feel like a wasted day before you try it. But when you wake up rested, feeling energetic, happy and highly motivated, you’ll realize your sleeping habits can either make you successful and happy, or hold you back and keep you feeling rotten.
5.Sunlight
Like air, sunlight is something we typically take for granted. The sun is so important to the survival of not just humans, but to all living things, that many ancient cultures used to worship the sun as a god. Direct exposure to the sunlight causes a chemical reaction in all living things. It causes plants to produce chlorophyll (which makes parts of them turn green) and breaks down the nutrients to “feed” the plant. Chlorophyll (not to be confused with Chloroform a deadly toxin produced by seaweed) provides an excellent source of vitamins and minerals that the body needs to stay healthy.
Humans (and animals) absorb sunlight through their skin to make Vitamin D (which prevents bones from softening and becoming easily breakable) and also breaks down a toxin (bilirubin) in the blood. Without adequate sunlight humans also develop depression, moodiness and their bodies have trouble regulating its rhythmic cycles of day and night, which can interfere with organ function, healthy sleep patterns and brain function.
Too much of anything is dangerous and that is true of sunlight too. Too much sunlight exposure can cause skin burns, dehydration, sun stroke, sunspots, wrinkles and skin cancers. Wearing sunscreen while outside has been proven to keep skin from burning and stay young looking while still allowing the necessary sunlight absorption. People should try to get at least 20 minutes of direct sunlight exposure every day. Those who are not exposed to daily amounts of sunlight should take a daily Vitamin D supplement and use “warm” (non florescent) lights to counteract some of the affects of not getting sunlight.
6.Exercise/ Adrenaline
Recommending that people exercise 30 to 60 minutes a day should be a joke. Really, your body needs more than that. The human body is designed for movement and lots of it! The body craves the adrenaline and feel-good endorphins that are released when you push your body and make it DO things like run, dance, lift weights and other highly physical activities. People who are “active” every day not only have better circulation in their bodies (regulates your body temperature, keeps all your parts working, quickens healing time, keeps muscles strong, keeps skin firm and supple, fights artery clogging, reduced the chance for blood clots which can cause strokes and death) and basically allows the brain and body to work efficiently in tandem. Exercising outside also allows you to get the sun your body needs and the fresh air.
Without regular exercise the body can’t burn up the calories eaten every day and the extra fuel is saved in the body as fat. Collecting a little fat every day is one way people become overweight and unhealthy so slowly they don’t even realize it. Exercise that burns more calories than you consume in a 24 hour period has proven to be the most highly effective form of weight loss. Staying at a healthy weight is one of the hallmarks of a healthy and youthful person.
Exercise causes adrenaline to be produced in the body. An adrenaline rush keeps the brain “happy” and the body working at peak performance. A very effective form of adrenaline producing exercise is sex. Exercise isn’t the only way adrenaline can be experienced. Anything from roller coasters, driving fast, extreme sports or watching “scary” movies (that why they’re called thrillers- they cause a “thrilling” chemical reaction in the brain) can cause the sensation. Falling or being in love can also cause the sensations. So to maximize your feel good chemical brain release, exercise with your romantic partner!
7.Stress Release
Stress is a killer. Even if you’re accomplishing all the other 6 things, if you’re not unwinding and getting stress release, your body will store toxins, suffer mental issues (frustration, depression, anxiety, hypertension) and cause physical manifestations (everything from growing warts, to migraine headaches or developing cancer). Stress release is essential to prevent wrinkles, keep organs and the brain working correctly and allowing blood pressure to stay normal (to prevent heart attacks, strokes etc.).
Whether it comes in the form of something slow and relaxing like a massage, a warm bath, reading a book, doing yoga, meditation or deep breathing exercises, listening to soothing music, having orgasms, slow rhythm activities (swings, rocking chairs, swaying to music, playing a musical instrument etc.) or something intense like taking frustration out on a punching bag or doing demolition or chopping wood, the body needs a way to eliminate all the negativity it collects every day.
So there you have it. If you aren't getting these vital seven things every day, change that! You'll be happier, healthier and look and feel younger. And who doesn't want that?
1.Clean Air
Oxygen is of those things you take for granted. You don’t realize just how important it is until you’re not getting any. Breathing is about as basic as it gets in human necessity. Your brain and body can’t function without it. Toxin-free air is difficult to find sometimes. Between factory pollution, vehicle emissions, smokers and all the other crap that finds its way into our air and lungs, getting outdoors in nature and breathing deeply is the best way to refresh your body. Without adequate oxygen, brain and body cells die and people become anxious, unhappy and prematurely age. If you are a smoker, the fastest way to improve your health and mood is to quit smoking! Changing the filters in fans, vents and opening windows to allow in fresh air are ways to improve your air quality.
2.Fresh Water
A lot of controversy surrounds the healthiness of America’s government regulated tap water, privately supplied bottled water and a plethora of other water supply options, including: water filters, purification processes, or home-dug wells. Basically water should be clear, order free and not have any particular flavor or aftertaste. Following the “8 glasses of water a day” rule is great, but water should be what you drink the most of every day. Anything else should be considered a “desert drink”. And that includes *everything* else except plain milk and 100% Orange Juice which contain necessary Vitamin D, Vitamin C and calcium.
So that soda, coffee, or glass of wine you planned to have, even the new fad of “vitamin enhanced waters”, are all “desserts”. And that alcohol you drink…it’s toxic. Seriously. You might as well drink Drain-o. It prematurely ages you, takes its toll on your skin, brain function and gives you the disgusting (and dangerous!) beer gut. So put down whatever you’re drinking and choose a bottle (or glass) of water instead!
3.Nutritious Food
If you’re used to eating a steady diet of pre-packaged, microwavable, high calorie/low nutrition crap or fast food, chances are you have no clue how miserable you’re making yourself! It’s like putting the cheapest grade of gas into a Bugati sports car. That’s a crime that should be punishable by public flogging! A sexy, sleeked out high performance vehicle must be fueled with the good stuff! But YOUR body is the same way. Garbage in, garbage out. Your body has probably been “pinging” and grinding gears for a long time and you’re not even aware it doesn’t have to.
Eating fresh, raw fruits and veggies, whole wheat grains and really, really WHOLESEOM food will give you more energy and you'll have a clearer mind, a better memory and just feel happier for no other obvious reason. Organic foods grown without pesticides (which cause cancer), and other dangerous chemicals and processes are the healthiest foods which contain more vitamins and nutrients. Check out your local farmers market and health food store.
4.Sleep
Sleeping isn’t just a good idea. It’s mandatory. Not just for giving your body and mind “down time”, sleep is when your body heals itself (like the muscle tears you got at the gym) and rejuvenates all your microscopic working parts (like the cells of your skin, bones and organs). It’s also when your brain gets “backed up” and “defragmented” like a computer. Ignore these things for a while and your body won’t heal, your brain won’t work right and your ability to function at 100% is cut down to almost nothing. Go without sleep long enough and it will kill you.
Sleep deprivation has a list a mile long of negative side affects including: depression, mood swings, impaired body function, bad memory, poor thinking and reasoning skills, bad decision making, slow wound healing, degeneration of brain cells and the list goes on and on. If getting 6-8 hours of sleep a night is difficult, try taking a mild, over the counter sleep aid and sleeping 12-16 hours on your day off. It might feel like a wasted day before you try it. But when you wake up rested, feeling energetic, happy and highly motivated, you’ll realize your sleeping habits can either make you successful and happy, or hold you back and keep you feeling rotten.
5.Sunlight
Like air, sunlight is something we typically take for granted. The sun is so important to the survival of not just humans, but to all living things, that many ancient cultures used to worship the sun as a god. Direct exposure to the sunlight causes a chemical reaction in all living things. It causes plants to produce chlorophyll (which makes parts of them turn green) and breaks down the nutrients to “feed” the plant. Chlorophyll (not to be confused with Chloroform a deadly toxin produced by seaweed) provides an excellent source of vitamins and minerals that the body needs to stay healthy.
Humans (and animals) absorb sunlight through their skin to make Vitamin D (which prevents bones from softening and becoming easily breakable) and also breaks down a toxin (bilirubin) in the blood. Without adequate sunlight humans also develop depression, moodiness and their bodies have trouble regulating its rhythmic cycles of day and night, which can interfere with organ function, healthy sleep patterns and brain function.
Too much of anything is dangerous and that is true of sunlight too. Too much sunlight exposure can cause skin burns, dehydration, sun stroke, sunspots, wrinkles and skin cancers. Wearing sunscreen while outside has been proven to keep skin from burning and stay young looking while still allowing the necessary sunlight absorption. People should try to get at least 20 minutes of direct sunlight exposure every day. Those who are not exposed to daily amounts of sunlight should take a daily Vitamin D supplement and use “warm” (non florescent) lights to counteract some of the affects of not getting sunlight.
6.Exercise/ Adrenaline
Recommending that people exercise 30 to 60 minutes a day should be a joke. Really, your body needs more than that. The human body is designed for movement and lots of it! The body craves the adrenaline and feel-good endorphins that are released when you push your body and make it DO things like run, dance, lift weights and other highly physical activities. People who are “active” every day not only have better circulation in their bodies (regulates your body temperature, keeps all your parts working, quickens healing time, keeps muscles strong, keeps skin firm and supple, fights artery clogging, reduced the chance for blood clots which can cause strokes and death) and basically allows the brain and body to work efficiently in tandem. Exercising outside also allows you to get the sun your body needs and the fresh air.
Without regular exercise the body can’t burn up the calories eaten every day and the extra fuel is saved in the body as fat. Collecting a little fat every day is one way people become overweight and unhealthy so slowly they don’t even realize it. Exercise that burns more calories than you consume in a 24 hour period has proven to be the most highly effective form of weight loss. Staying at a healthy weight is one of the hallmarks of a healthy and youthful person.
Exercise causes adrenaline to be produced in the body. An adrenaline rush keeps the brain “happy” and the body working at peak performance. A very effective form of adrenaline producing exercise is sex. Exercise isn’t the only way adrenaline can be experienced. Anything from roller coasters, driving fast, extreme sports or watching “scary” movies (that why they’re called thrillers- they cause a “thrilling” chemical reaction in the brain) can cause the sensation. Falling or being in love can also cause the sensations. So to maximize your feel good chemical brain release, exercise with your romantic partner!
7.Stress Release
Stress is a killer. Even if you’re accomplishing all the other 6 things, if you’re not unwinding and getting stress release, your body will store toxins, suffer mental issues (frustration, depression, anxiety, hypertension) and cause physical manifestations (everything from growing warts, to migraine headaches or developing cancer). Stress release is essential to prevent wrinkles, keep organs and the brain working correctly and allowing blood pressure to stay normal (to prevent heart attacks, strokes etc.).
Whether it comes in the form of something slow and relaxing like a massage, a warm bath, reading a book, doing yoga, meditation or deep breathing exercises, listening to soothing music, having orgasms, slow rhythm activities (swings, rocking chairs, swaying to music, playing a musical instrument etc.) or something intense like taking frustration out on a punching bag or doing demolition or chopping wood, the body needs a way to eliminate all the negativity it collects every day.
So there you have it. If you aren't getting these vital seven things every day, change that! You'll be happier, healthier and look and feel younger. And who doesn't want that?
Friday, August 27, 2010
We Need More Cowboys
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
This Mosque Be a Joke!
Muslim religious extremists (allegedly) blow up a long standing American icon, along with it three commercial airline jets, and destroy thousands of lives.
Now, less than a decade later they want a Muslim religious building a mere two blocks from the spot of so much devastation.
Sounds like a joke right?
But, if you consider how America welcomed them into our country, gave them jobs and taught them to fly the crop dusters they used to gain experience in how to fly our own planes to kill our own people with- this next phase of ‘taking over America’ seems like the next, most natural step.
And they either timed it just right, got incredibly lucky because we now have a terrorist friendly president whose youthful education was in the very same Muslim religion. The same guy who also has relatives who are currently practicing the Muslim “faith”.
I’m a firm believer in the constitution that gives people certain rights and opportunities and religious freedoms. And I also believe that people should be allowed to worship who, how and where they want…but all that is NULL and VOID when those people have proven they’re determined to kill you!
I’d say there has been very little uh…diplomacy coming from the Muslim community!
Yet given everything, there is a damn good chance the Muslims will get their place of conspiring…er… worshiping. Because given recent history, America really mosque be as stupid as this non-joke sounds!
To read more on this.
http://www.wnd.com/?pageId=119328
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=128544392
Now, less than a decade later they want a Muslim religious building a mere two blocks from the spot of so much devastation.
Sounds like a joke right?
But, if you consider how America welcomed them into our country, gave them jobs and taught them to fly the crop dusters they used to gain experience in how to fly our own planes to kill our own people with- this next phase of ‘taking over America’ seems like the next, most natural step.
And they either timed it just right, got incredibly lucky because we now have a terrorist friendly president whose youthful education was in the very same Muslim religion. The same guy who also has relatives who are currently practicing the Muslim “faith”.
I’m a firm believer in the constitution that gives people certain rights and opportunities and religious freedoms. And I also believe that people should be allowed to worship who, how and where they want…but all that is NULL and VOID when those people have proven they’re determined to kill you!
I’d say there has been very little uh…diplomacy coming from the Muslim community!
Yet given everything, there is a damn good chance the Muslims will get their place of conspiring…er… worshiping. Because given recent history, America really mosque be as stupid as this non-joke sounds!
To read more on this.
http://www.wnd.com/?pageId=119328
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=128544392
Friday, August 13, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Make Celebrities Work
Paris (Hilton) runs errands in Los Angeles
Britney (Spears) beats the heat with a milkshake
Jude (Law) & Sienna (Miller) escape to Lbiza
These are a few of the headlines for celebrity news online. And it makes me shake my head in disgust. Who cares???
Paris is shopping again. That’s no surprise.
Brittany likes junk food. Now there is a shocker!
And a celebrity pair are vacationing in an exotic location. Don’t they all??
While some people may be unquenchable in their thirst of every tidbit of bland information about the people they enjoy watching, reading about and imitating, it’s pretty pathetic when the every day mundane tasks of mortal living ~of any human being~ are considered news worthy.
Someone is actually paid to follow these people around to photograph and write about them driving their own cars, taking a walk in the park or leaving the dentist’s office. REALLY???
Aside from following anyone’s life THAT closely being unnaturally, obsessively scary, it’s a blatant violation of their privacy and who really cares if they grocery shop or put gas in their cars?? So does everyone else!
If we’re going to call people celebrities and make magazine shrines to them, blow up their photos in larger than life signs and dedicate valuable news space, they had better be doing something worthy of that attention.
Signing a new movie or show deal.
Sponsoring a charitable event.
Endorsing a greener or healthier lifestyle.
Bringing attention to a good cause or program.
Motivating people for a more educated and skilled future.
Helping out natural disaster victims.
THESE are news worthy things for celebrities to get face time for. If famous people were left alone for the normal dull aspects of their lives, if they wanted to get the lime light, they have to do something worthy of the attention. Something hopefully productive, altruistic or remotely significant in some tangible way.
I recognize that the economy is actually affected by people wanting to dress like and imitate celebrities, but something as general as shopping in a large city or drinking thick sweetened milk does nothing to boost the sales of products or good and services or promote awareness that will provide a considerable enough change in the money exchange for us to care.
I don't care if Paris buys new shoes. Britney will probably continues to get fat and then slim down for the rest of the life of her popularity. And Jude can take whoever the flavor of the month, wherever he wants and it couldn't motivate me to care in the least.
If these people are just "normal people" who became household names because they did something that made us familiar with their face/body/voice, then they're not really role models and we shouldn't scrutinize their lives.
If they ARE role models though, then shouldn't they be getting attention for something that actually affects people in a positive way?
The same should apply to anyone. If they do something news worthy, let's hear about it. Otherwise, leave their runs to 7 Eleven for a cup of coffee out of the news. It's just NOT news.
Britney (Spears) beats the heat with a milkshake
Jude (Law) & Sienna (Miller) escape to Lbiza
These are a few of the headlines for celebrity news online. And it makes me shake my head in disgust. Who cares???
Paris is shopping again. That’s no surprise.
Brittany likes junk food. Now there is a shocker!
And a celebrity pair are vacationing in an exotic location. Don’t they all??
While some people may be unquenchable in their thirst of every tidbit of bland information about the people they enjoy watching, reading about and imitating, it’s pretty pathetic when the every day mundane tasks of mortal living ~of any human being~ are considered news worthy.
Someone is actually paid to follow these people around to photograph and write about them driving their own cars, taking a walk in the park or leaving the dentist’s office. REALLY???
Aside from following anyone’s life THAT closely being unnaturally, obsessively scary, it’s a blatant violation of their privacy and who really cares if they grocery shop or put gas in their cars?? So does everyone else!
If we’re going to call people celebrities and make magazine shrines to them, blow up their photos in larger than life signs and dedicate valuable news space, they had better be doing something worthy of that attention.
Signing a new movie or show deal.
Sponsoring a charitable event.
Endorsing a greener or healthier lifestyle.
Bringing attention to a good cause or program.
Motivating people for a more educated and skilled future.
Helping out natural disaster victims.
THESE are news worthy things for celebrities to get face time for. If famous people were left alone for the normal dull aspects of their lives, if they wanted to get the lime light, they have to do something worthy of the attention. Something hopefully productive, altruistic or remotely significant in some tangible way.
I recognize that the economy is actually affected by people wanting to dress like and imitate celebrities, but something as general as shopping in a large city or drinking thick sweetened milk does nothing to boost the sales of products or good and services or promote awareness that will provide a considerable enough change in the money exchange for us to care.
I don't care if Paris buys new shoes. Britney will probably continues to get fat and then slim down for the rest of the life of her popularity. And Jude can take whoever the flavor of the month, wherever he wants and it couldn't motivate me to care in the least.
If these people are just "normal people" who became household names because they did something that made us familiar with their face/body/voice, then they're not really role models and we shouldn't scrutinize their lives.
If they ARE role models though, then shouldn't they be getting attention for something that actually affects people in a positive way?
The same should apply to anyone. If they do something news worthy, let's hear about it. Otherwise, leave their runs to 7 Eleven for a cup of coffee out of the news. It's just NOT news.
Friday, August 6, 2010
15 Online Dating Profile Blunders
So you’ve decided to join the world of online dating. You’ve picked a dating site and begin making your profile.
Unless the dating site asks specific questions and has you fill out an information questionnaire, there is a good chance what you say about yourself (and just as important what you don’t say about yourself) is left up to your discretion.
This could get dangerous. At best, making these common mistakes could cost you dates. At worst, assuming the success stories are true, it could cost you meeting the love of your life.
1. Lying about your basic info.
The people you meet online don’t know anything about you. Establishing any level of trust requires, no…demands that basic information like your age, body type, expectations, education level, income, sexual orientation, living accommodations and marital/ parental status is 100% true. If you end up meeting someone great and they find out you lied about something as basic as what year you were born or if you have children, they have no reason to believe anything you have ever said, or ever will say is true.
2. Your pictures are really old.
Maybe 2004 was a really good year for you. Maybe you’re really proud of that award you won your HS senior year. Maybe you were an adorable baby. But that is NOT what you look like right now: this month of this year. Even if your best friend agrees that the wedding party picture of you from January 2007 still looks exactly like you, you should never post pictures that are more than 2 years old. Ideally, most of your pictures were taken in the last 6 months, at the very least within the same calendar year that you’re making the profile. And if you only have one or two pictures of yourself, they should all be taken within the last year. You should also update your profile pictures every six months.
3. Your pictures misrepresent you.
Pictures are one of the most important parts of a dating profile. They are often the first and sometimes the only thing a prospective date might look at before deciding to contact you or respond to your message. If all your pictures are of you wearing sunglasses and a hat, are really grainy or you’re far away, no one can really tell what you look like. That is almost as bad as having no pictures at all (the cardinal sin of online dating!) Also at least half your pictures should be recent full body shots. Pictures only ‘from the neck up’ make viewers suspicious of why you’re hiding the rest of your body. You should also update your pictures if you’ve recently: changed your hairstyle or color, shaved off or grown facial hair, gotten facial piercings, gotten any visible tattoos, lost or gained 10 or more pounds, or had anything else done that would dramatically change the way you look. You don’t want to have to wear fedora hat or carry a white rose so the person meeting you will recognize you!
4. You don’t write anything about yourself.
It is critical for you to say a few things about who you are, what you like and what you’re looking for. Not writing anything about yourself makes viewers think one of three things. Either 1) you’re so arrogant that you think people will contact you based upon just your pictures, 2) you are an incredibly boring person with no life and having nothing worth saying, or 3) you are incredibly lazy and disrespectful enough to not care if people you contact know anything about you. You’re better off throwing a few honest lines out there outlining a few things that describe what kind of person they might be getting involved with and what makes you worth getting to know. Whether you’re looking for someone to share their life with you, or give you their heart or body, you owe it to them to at least let them know who you are.
5. You misspell words and use poor grammar.
While what you write should sound like how you talk, if your profile is hard to read or looks like a third grader wrote it, no one is going to take you seriously. A poorly written profile screams “I’m too lazy to use a spell checker!” “I don’t care if you can’t understand what I say!”, “I don’t respect myself or you enough to write like an adult.” and “Get with me if you don’t want a partner who sounds smart and educated.” If spelling and grammar aren’t your strong points, do everyone a favor and write your “about me” section on a Word document which will correct your mistakes, then cut and paste the edited version onto your profile. You can do the same thing with emails you write to other people on the site. You really should think of dating as a job interview. If you don’t write or talk like an adult, you’re going to be passed over for the hundreds of other people who do.
6. You come across as aggressive, cynical or bitter.
Defensive, angry, frustrated and wounded. These are things that every human feels at some point in their lives. They should NOT be how you depict yourself in your profile. Most people have had a relationship end badly, maybe they even got their heart broken. But a dating site is not a place to go all “Jerry Springer”. A profile is where you give your first impression of yourself to others. Do you want people to think you’re a happy, fun person to be around? Or do you want them to be afraid to contact you because you’ll snap their head off because you’ve been hurt in the past? Save your venting over past wrongs for your diary and your BFF, strangers don’t want to hear it. If you usually are a sad, cranky or grumpy person a dating site isn’t going to help you. You should be seeing a psychiatrist. Dating sites are set up for normal, well adjusted people who are simply looking for a love interest, not someone to fix their wounded soul and heal their broken heart or teach them how to be a happy, optimistic person. Being in a relationship will absolutely NOT solve the other problems in your life.
7. You try too hard to be funny or unique.
You may think that your wacky sense of humor is one of your better qualities. And maybe it is. But it’s best served online in small doses. Too much sarcasm could be misinterpreted. Being outrageously silly in all your pictures might make you just seem weird. And writing a ton of jibberish that goes way, way beyond witty, could scare someone away who thinks you never know how to act maturely. No one wants to date (or worse be in a relationship with) someone who is going to chronically embarrass them with ridiculous clothing, incessant practical jokes, poorly timed humor and immature mannerisms. Revealing some of your taste in humor is good since people do want to be around others who can cut loose, make them laugh and understand each other’s jokes. So shoot for Vince Vaughn of Wedding Crashers’ casual sarcasm, and try to avoid doing too much Jim Carrey (The Mask) absurdities which are much harder to pull off on a two dimensional online dating profile.
8. You’re too specific about who you’ll date.
Saying you’re attracted to someone ‘Tall, dark and handsome’ is pretty specific. Saying “You must be at least 6’4, have an olive complexion with black hair and have been the homecoming king in high school.” is way too specific. Stating you are only interested in people who are athletic or lean or who are non-smokers, is perfectly acceptable though. A preference that still includes many, many types of people is fine. A short list of qualities cuts out 98% of the dating population. While you may prefer blonds, only want to date aerobic instructors or feel it’s critical your partner has a Masters degree in biology, if you state criteria like that in your profile you’ll alienate a lot of people who may have otherwise been a good match for you. You wouldn’t want someone to exclude you from their “would date’ list because you’re a year over or under their age limits of ’24 or 25’, so you can’t very well say you’ll only date people with naturally hazel eyes. Include some general criteria, but don’t close yourself off to the masses of people who honestly don’t think blowfish is the best dinner in town.
9. You’re second to someone else.
It may be that you’re a parent and make it abundantly obvious how very proud you are of that. Or maybe you write incessantly about your poochie who sleeps with you and has her own wardrobe. Or maybe your ex is in every single photo with you. Your profile is supposed to be about you. YOU are the one looking for a date, looking for a relationship. Prospective dates need to know that you’re a whole human being by yourself and not someone who has to be constantly surrounded by your bff, your favorite niece or a past partner. Saying things like “I have a child who is my life and if you have a problem with that then don’t bother contacting me” not only scores you negative points in the “aggressive” category, it’s a huge turn off to someone who wants to date YOU, not ‘the parent of your child’. It should go without saying that you have important people in your life already. Your profile should stay focused on YOU as an individual.
10. You provide information overkill.
An online dating profile is designed to list your basic information, a little info about your life (where you’re from, where you’re currently living and what your past relationship history has been) but it’s just a synopsis, not an entire novel. Unless you have a stalker, long profiles never get read all the way through. And talking too much about yourself will just make you seem self-absorbed and high maintenance. Give enough of a teaser to catch a reader’s attention, but do save something for emails, a phone conversation and the in-person meeting.
11. You’re too high maintenance.
Everyone wants to be with someone who takes care of themselves and has a healthy dose of self respect. But describing yourself with words like “Princess”, “Diva”, “God’s gift” or “The best ____ on this site” is a fantastic way to tell everyone in a hurry that you are narcissistic and intend to be more work than you’re worth. Being an overly needy person is also a huge turn off. Most people want to be in a relationship with someone they consider a great friend as well as a lover and partner. But you’re not going to become clones of each other if you get involved. Everyone needs their own hobbies and time alone. Make it clear you have interest and opinions of your own that you intend to keep even if they differ from those of your future partner. No one should give up or lose their personal identity just became they’re in a relationship.
12. You come with enough baggage for a world tour.
It may be that your elderly parent lives with you. That you had six children and your spouse ran off and left you to care for them alone. Or you’ve lived in 15 states and had 29 jobs in the last 6 years. (Heaven help you if ALL those are true!) but you need to be starting a relationship with a clean slate and a willingness to put down roots and be a stable, reliable person. If you have a criminal past, STDs, a terminal illness, a life altering sickness, a mental illness or something else major you do need to make that clear to people before they move in with you or start picking out wedding invitation stationary. But you also shouldn’t drop a bomb like that on your profile or in the first email you send someone. People make mistakes and have unfortunate things happen to them, but it’s hard to accept that from someone you don’t know at all and therefore don’t really care about. You should say in your profile that “There are things that happened in my past a partner should know about me” or “I’m changing things in my life now that I’ve grown up” or “I have a medical condition that won’t prevent me from being a good partner”. Statements like those are vague enough to not be scary, but honest enough to get the conversations started before they fall in love with you and feel betrayed that you hid important facts about yourself.
13. Your needs read like a shopping list.
All about what you want and you need, you say nothing about what you offer and what you’ll bring into a relationship. For you, it’s all one sided: your way or the highway. The only thing worse than saying you have no idea what your looking for is stating precisely what you demand from a partner. I’ve actually read profiles that say things like “She must look great in sweatpants with no make-up on” or “My partner needs to make a six figure income.” Also placing limitations on your partners past history is absurd. One guy (age 30 something) wrote on his profile “if a girl has slept with five or more guys she’s a slut and shouldn’t contact me.” Wow! Really? Another guy had a 25 questions questionnaire for girls to fill out and should only contact him if they passed all of them. Saying you’re “picky” and “won’t settle” suggests that you’re placing a lot of high expectations on your partner. Expectations that maybe no mortal human being can ever live up to and therefore shouldn’t even try.
14. You’re the victim or a bully: anything but normal.
Begging readers to not hurt you because you’d been f’d over by every past relationship might get things started off on the wrong foot. Unless you’re advertizing to assholes that there is bully vacancy and you’re now accepting applications. You might be hoping for sympathy and extra kindness, but normal people will pity you and be too afraid of your weakness and lack of self-respect to want to get involved with you. Conversely if it sounds like you’re looking for a new doormat or punching bag, even if you really are a nice person anyone who’s not looking for drama or a fight, is going to avoid you.
15. You have no clue what you want.
“I don’t really know what I’m looking for.” Making a statement like that is bit shocking. By the time a person is old enough to be in a committed romantic relationship or possibly get married, they should have at least an inkling of what kind of person they’re going to be compatible with and whether or not they want to settle down with only one person or just have fun with casual dating. How can you possibly be considered a good person to become involved with, if you have no clue what makes you happy or what kind of people you feel comfortable spending time with?? Being the totally unique person you are, you’ll need to know yourself well enough to tell and show your future partner how you need to be loved and how you’ll be able to love them back. If you can’t do this you’re setting both of you up for a brutal suffering session the entire time you’re together from lack of clear communication and frustration from not getting what either of you need. If you honestly don’t know what you want and don’t know what you have to offer a relationship, you have no business creating a dating profile.
Unless the dating site asks specific questions and has you fill out an information questionnaire, there is a good chance what you say about yourself (and just as important what you don’t say about yourself) is left up to your discretion.
This could get dangerous. At best, making these common mistakes could cost you dates. At worst, assuming the success stories are true, it could cost you meeting the love of your life.
1. Lying about your basic info.
The people you meet online don’t know anything about you. Establishing any level of trust requires, no…demands that basic information like your age, body type, expectations, education level, income, sexual orientation, living accommodations and marital/ parental status is 100% true. If you end up meeting someone great and they find out you lied about something as basic as what year you were born or if you have children, they have no reason to believe anything you have ever said, or ever will say is true.
2. Your pictures are really old.
Maybe 2004 was a really good year for you. Maybe you’re really proud of that award you won your HS senior year. Maybe you were an adorable baby. But that is NOT what you look like right now: this month of this year. Even if your best friend agrees that the wedding party picture of you from January 2007 still looks exactly like you, you should never post pictures that are more than 2 years old. Ideally, most of your pictures were taken in the last 6 months, at the very least within the same calendar year that you’re making the profile. And if you only have one or two pictures of yourself, they should all be taken within the last year. You should also update your profile pictures every six months.
3. Your pictures misrepresent you.
Pictures are one of the most important parts of a dating profile. They are often the first and sometimes the only thing a prospective date might look at before deciding to contact you or respond to your message. If all your pictures are of you wearing sunglasses and a hat, are really grainy or you’re far away, no one can really tell what you look like. That is almost as bad as having no pictures at all (the cardinal sin of online dating!) Also at least half your pictures should be recent full body shots. Pictures only ‘from the neck up’ make viewers suspicious of why you’re hiding the rest of your body. You should also update your pictures if you’ve recently: changed your hairstyle or color, shaved off or grown facial hair, gotten facial piercings, gotten any visible tattoos, lost or gained 10 or more pounds, or had anything else done that would dramatically change the way you look. You don’t want to have to wear fedora hat or carry a white rose so the person meeting you will recognize you!
4. You don’t write anything about yourself.
It is critical for you to say a few things about who you are, what you like and what you’re looking for. Not writing anything about yourself makes viewers think one of three things. Either 1) you’re so arrogant that you think people will contact you based upon just your pictures, 2) you are an incredibly boring person with no life and having nothing worth saying, or 3) you are incredibly lazy and disrespectful enough to not care if people you contact know anything about you. You’re better off throwing a few honest lines out there outlining a few things that describe what kind of person they might be getting involved with and what makes you worth getting to know. Whether you’re looking for someone to share their life with you, or give you their heart or body, you owe it to them to at least let them know who you are.
5. You misspell words and use poor grammar.
While what you write should sound like how you talk, if your profile is hard to read or looks like a third grader wrote it, no one is going to take you seriously. A poorly written profile screams “I’m too lazy to use a spell checker!” “I don’t care if you can’t understand what I say!”, “I don’t respect myself or you enough to write like an adult.” and “Get with me if you don’t want a partner who sounds smart and educated.” If spelling and grammar aren’t your strong points, do everyone a favor and write your “about me” section on a Word document which will correct your mistakes, then cut and paste the edited version onto your profile. You can do the same thing with emails you write to other people on the site. You really should think of dating as a job interview. If you don’t write or talk like an adult, you’re going to be passed over for the hundreds of other people who do.
6. You come across as aggressive, cynical or bitter.
Defensive, angry, frustrated and wounded. These are things that every human feels at some point in their lives. They should NOT be how you depict yourself in your profile. Most people have had a relationship end badly, maybe they even got their heart broken. But a dating site is not a place to go all “Jerry Springer”. A profile is where you give your first impression of yourself to others. Do you want people to think you’re a happy, fun person to be around? Or do you want them to be afraid to contact you because you’ll snap their head off because you’ve been hurt in the past? Save your venting over past wrongs for your diary and your BFF, strangers don’t want to hear it. If you usually are a sad, cranky or grumpy person a dating site isn’t going to help you. You should be seeing a psychiatrist. Dating sites are set up for normal, well adjusted people who are simply looking for a love interest, not someone to fix their wounded soul and heal their broken heart or teach them how to be a happy, optimistic person. Being in a relationship will absolutely NOT solve the other problems in your life.
7. You try too hard to be funny or unique.
You may think that your wacky sense of humor is one of your better qualities. And maybe it is. But it’s best served online in small doses. Too much sarcasm could be misinterpreted. Being outrageously silly in all your pictures might make you just seem weird. And writing a ton of jibberish that goes way, way beyond witty, could scare someone away who thinks you never know how to act maturely. No one wants to date (or worse be in a relationship with) someone who is going to chronically embarrass them with ridiculous clothing, incessant practical jokes, poorly timed humor and immature mannerisms. Revealing some of your taste in humor is good since people do want to be around others who can cut loose, make them laugh and understand each other’s jokes. So shoot for Vince Vaughn of Wedding Crashers’ casual sarcasm, and try to avoid doing too much Jim Carrey (The Mask) absurdities which are much harder to pull off on a two dimensional online dating profile.
8. You’re too specific about who you’ll date.
Saying you’re attracted to someone ‘Tall, dark and handsome’ is pretty specific. Saying “You must be at least 6’4, have an olive complexion with black hair and have been the homecoming king in high school.” is way too specific. Stating you are only interested in people who are athletic or lean or who are non-smokers, is perfectly acceptable though. A preference that still includes many, many types of people is fine. A short list of qualities cuts out 98% of the dating population. While you may prefer blonds, only want to date aerobic instructors or feel it’s critical your partner has a Masters degree in biology, if you state criteria like that in your profile you’ll alienate a lot of people who may have otherwise been a good match for you. You wouldn’t want someone to exclude you from their “would date’ list because you’re a year over or under their age limits of ’24 or 25’, so you can’t very well say you’ll only date people with naturally hazel eyes. Include some general criteria, but don’t close yourself off to the masses of people who honestly don’t think blowfish is the best dinner in town.
9. You’re second to someone else.
It may be that you’re a parent and make it abundantly obvious how very proud you are of that. Or maybe you write incessantly about your poochie who sleeps with you and has her own wardrobe. Or maybe your ex is in every single photo with you. Your profile is supposed to be about you. YOU are the one looking for a date, looking for a relationship. Prospective dates need to know that you’re a whole human being by yourself and not someone who has to be constantly surrounded by your bff, your favorite niece or a past partner. Saying things like “I have a child who is my life and if you have a problem with that then don’t bother contacting me” not only scores you negative points in the “aggressive” category, it’s a huge turn off to someone who wants to date YOU, not ‘the parent of your child’. It should go without saying that you have important people in your life already. Your profile should stay focused on YOU as an individual.
10. You provide information overkill.
An online dating profile is designed to list your basic information, a little info about your life (where you’re from, where you’re currently living and what your past relationship history has been) but it’s just a synopsis, not an entire novel. Unless you have a stalker, long profiles never get read all the way through. And talking too much about yourself will just make you seem self-absorbed and high maintenance. Give enough of a teaser to catch a reader’s attention, but do save something for emails, a phone conversation and the in-person meeting.
11. You’re too high maintenance.
Everyone wants to be with someone who takes care of themselves and has a healthy dose of self respect. But describing yourself with words like “Princess”, “Diva”, “God’s gift” or “The best ____ on this site” is a fantastic way to tell everyone in a hurry that you are narcissistic and intend to be more work than you’re worth. Being an overly needy person is also a huge turn off. Most people want to be in a relationship with someone they consider a great friend as well as a lover and partner. But you’re not going to become clones of each other if you get involved. Everyone needs their own hobbies and time alone. Make it clear you have interest and opinions of your own that you intend to keep even if they differ from those of your future partner. No one should give up or lose their personal identity just became they’re in a relationship.
12. You come with enough baggage for a world tour.
It may be that your elderly parent lives with you. That you had six children and your spouse ran off and left you to care for them alone. Or you’ve lived in 15 states and had 29 jobs in the last 6 years. (Heaven help you if ALL those are true!) but you need to be starting a relationship with a clean slate and a willingness to put down roots and be a stable, reliable person. If you have a criminal past, STDs, a terminal illness, a life altering sickness, a mental illness or something else major you do need to make that clear to people before they move in with you or start picking out wedding invitation stationary. But you also shouldn’t drop a bomb like that on your profile or in the first email you send someone. People make mistakes and have unfortunate things happen to them, but it’s hard to accept that from someone you don’t know at all and therefore don’t really care about. You should say in your profile that “There are things that happened in my past a partner should know about me” or “I’m changing things in my life now that I’ve grown up” or “I have a medical condition that won’t prevent me from being a good partner”. Statements like those are vague enough to not be scary, but honest enough to get the conversations started before they fall in love with you and feel betrayed that you hid important facts about yourself.
13. Your needs read like a shopping list.
All about what you want and you need, you say nothing about what you offer and what you’ll bring into a relationship. For you, it’s all one sided: your way or the highway. The only thing worse than saying you have no idea what your looking for is stating precisely what you demand from a partner. I’ve actually read profiles that say things like “She must look great in sweatpants with no make-up on” or “My partner needs to make a six figure income.” Also placing limitations on your partners past history is absurd. One guy (age 30 something) wrote on his profile “if a girl has slept with five or more guys she’s a slut and shouldn’t contact me.” Wow! Really? Another guy had a 25 questions questionnaire for girls to fill out and should only contact him if they passed all of them. Saying you’re “picky” and “won’t settle” suggests that you’re placing a lot of high expectations on your partner. Expectations that maybe no mortal human being can ever live up to and therefore shouldn’t even try.
14. You’re the victim or a bully: anything but normal.
Begging readers to not hurt you because you’d been f’d over by every past relationship might get things started off on the wrong foot. Unless you’re advertizing to assholes that there is bully vacancy and you’re now accepting applications. You might be hoping for sympathy and extra kindness, but normal people will pity you and be too afraid of your weakness and lack of self-respect to want to get involved with you. Conversely if it sounds like you’re looking for a new doormat or punching bag, even if you really are a nice person anyone who’s not looking for drama or a fight, is going to avoid you.
15. You have no clue what you want.
“I don’t really know what I’m looking for.” Making a statement like that is bit shocking. By the time a person is old enough to be in a committed romantic relationship or possibly get married, they should have at least an inkling of what kind of person they’re going to be compatible with and whether or not they want to settle down with only one person or just have fun with casual dating. How can you possibly be considered a good person to become involved with, if you have no clue what makes you happy or what kind of people you feel comfortable spending time with?? Being the totally unique person you are, you’ll need to know yourself well enough to tell and show your future partner how you need to be loved and how you’ll be able to love them back. If you can’t do this you’re setting both of you up for a brutal suffering session the entire time you’re together from lack of clear communication and frustration from not getting what either of you need. If you honestly don’t know what you want and don’t know what you have to offer a relationship, you have no business creating a dating profile.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Ridiculously Smart People
They are out there! And this guy is one of them!
You know that nerdy kid in elementary school who was the last one to be picked for dodge-ball and had the answer to questions even the teacher couldn't answer?
That's probably the kid who grew up to invent a metal puzzle that turns into a fully functioning gun. No joke. And you thought you were clever with duct tape and a pocket knife!
To see the website with the full story (and where I got the pictures) click here.
Let's just hope you were nice to that kid when you were younger. Not only is he probably incredibly rich now, he's turned playing with building blocks into assembling deadly weapons.
You know that nerdy kid in elementary school who was the last one to be picked for dodge-ball and had the answer to questions even the teacher couldn't answer?
That's probably the kid who grew up to invent a metal puzzle that turns into a fully functioning gun. No joke. And you thought you were clever with duct tape and a pocket knife!
To see the website with the full story (and where I got the pictures) click here.
Let's just hope you were nice to that kid when you were younger. Not only is he probably incredibly rich now, he's turned playing with building blocks into assembling deadly weapons.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Pay Once, Eat Twice
America is really fat. One of every three adults is not just chunky, overweight or fat, they’re grossly, abnormally overweight. We’ve just become so used to seeing fat people that it seems normal.
In addition to the unhealthy types of food American people love to indulge in, some blame the rampant obesity problem on meal portion size.
Supposedly in countries like France where rich, decedent meals are notoriously yummy but high in calories, the restaurant portions are between 1/2 and 1/3 the size of American portions. So basically they can eat high calorie meals but not get fat, while Americans can’t because Americans are eating twice as much of it.
Eat twice as much as your body needs and you start having the body mass of two people. Makes sense!
There are some people who are pushing for reduced US restaurant portions and smaller prepackaged food serving sizes. But I think we know that if restaurants started reducing things, the serving size would go down and the price would stay the same! And America is all about maximizing their consumption and getting the most for their dollar.
But I suggest that food portions STAY the twice as large size, and so does the price. The solution to the oversized servings when eating out is as simple as cardboard. Or plastic. Or Styrofoam.
After your meal arrives, ask your server for take-away containers and before you take so much as one bite, cut your food in half and put half of everything into the doggy container.
If you order a salad, ask for the dressing to be on the side so you don’t end up with soggy salad after you’ve taken it home.
Don’t put your bread in with moisture laden food or it will also become soggy. But if you’re afraid the bread will harden after you’ve taken it home, microwave it in a bowl covered by a damp paper towel.
If the salad doesn’t come without dressing or it’s a salad bar so you’re not allowed to take it home; or if the house bread is too good to pass up and you’re not allowed to take it home, make a meal out of the salad and bread (and dessert) and just take home your entire entrée.
Unless the dessert is something mostly solid (like cake, or cheesecake) it often doesn’t travel well. Either plan to take home your entire entrée so you can eat the dessert or skip dessert altogether.
In the cold winter months, the food should be fine left in a vehicle while you shop, watch a movie or otherwise cannot get it home immediately. Keep a few plastic grocery bags in your vehicle to put your leftover into will reduce the chance of a spill or lingering odors.
America throws away millions of dollars worth of food every year. Why waste money and food when you can save and maximize your enjoyment of both?
In the summer before you go out, put a small cooler in your trunk with blue ice or plan to make a drive back to your house to drop off the leftovers. Most food needs refrigeration to prevent the food from going bad. No one wants food poising later with their leftovers.
If you forget your cooler or didn’t plan to eat out and didn’t bring one, or if a detour to your house is too far away, you can pick up a Styrofoam cooler and a bag of ice from a gas station or grocery store for usually under $6. Saving half a $50+ meal is worth the change.
Most hotels and even motels now are offering small refrigerators and microwaves in their standard rooms. So even if you’re on the road you can save half (or at least some) of your food for later.
It might take a few tries to adjust to the idea of eating only half your meal the night you order it. But it’s very satisfying to get to repeat your delicious meal the next day, at no additional cost.
America’s expanding waistlines may be partly a result of eating too much food per meal. But you don’t have to be part of the majority who are busting out of their clothing, super-sizing their life and medical insurance premiums due to poor health and waddling out restaurants, belt loosened and out of breath.
Instead you can be part of the sleeker, thinner, smarter, thrifty population who go out to eat and pay once, but eat twice.
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